Posts Tagged With: turkey

A Dirty Thanksgiving

Oh hey, y’all! I’m Danica Avet, brand new author here on 69 Shades of Smut. I write paranormal erotic romance with a touch of Cajun spice for Ellora’s Cave, Evernight Publishing and Siren Publishing. Obviously, I was born and raised in south Louisiana and as I’m sure most of y’all know, we love our food here. And we especially love hot, spicy food. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be talking about this month? Food? Well have I got it for y’all.

Tomorrow’s Turkey Day here in the U.S. This is a time for families to come together, eat until they have to roll themselves home, park themselves in front of a television and watch football (or hockey). Isn’t there some kind of hockey exhibition game on Thanksgiving day as well? I don’t know much about hockey. The only ice we see down here is in our drinks. But we’re not here to talk about sports, which is my second favorite thing in the world. We’re talking about food and the smuttiness that can be found at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

I’m going to talk about some of the buzz words that could be taken completely out of context by a dirty-minded author. *raises her hand* That would be me, by the way.

Stuffing the turkey:

I’m so juvenile sometimes, it’s a wonder I’ve manage to function in the real world. We don’t stuff turkeys down here. Or at least my family doesn’t. Stuffing it sounds like you’re either going to mount it on the wall (heh, I said mount) or fill it with feathers. Or, if you have an inner 12-year-old boy, something illegal is going inside that poor, frozen turkey. Stuffing it good and hard. Food porn!

Talk of pie:

Again, my inner 12-year-old boy wants to go all stupid with the pie jokes. Especially since every year my uncle sits down with the cherry pie he eats with his fingers, a glazed look on his face. Really? There are so many things I could say about cherry pie, apple pie and hair pie, but that wouldn’t be right. I mean, these people are my family members. Y’all aren’t. Sorry.

Dirty Rice:

There’s a bit of a debate over the difference between dirty rice and rice dressing. My family never eats rice dressing. It’s always dirty rice in our house even though we don’t cook ours with chicken gizzards or liver. If the rice is brown and has meat in it, it’s dirty. Dirty, dirty rice. Every holiday has dirty rice. Rice is like its own food group in south Louisiana and the name is awesome. Dirty. Rice. It’s like that Janet Jackson, Nasty Boys song when she says her name is Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty. It’s rice…dirty if you’re Cajun. See? It totally works.

And that’s all I have. I apologize if this post made absolutely no sense. I’m just coming off of an upper respiratory infection and ze drugz are making me loopy. I really do hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving has a wonderful, safe holiday. Get nasty with your food, call it dirty and make obscene jokes (in your mind) when someone talks about how hard they stuffed the turkey.

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