JESSSIE’S TURN – WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A SUBMISSIVE?
Hello fellow smutsters and I’m on today with a sexy little character interview. It’s interesting. When I thought about just how many characters and types I’ve writing about this last year and a half, I had to go WHEW. I have gay and straight men and women, aliens, cowboys, vampires, were-tigers, Master Dom’s and submissives of both sexes. So in trying to figure out who I wanted to interview, you would think that my choice would be difficult, right? In truth I have one in mind and she’s a very complex character from a very emotional piece.
I write a lot about BDSM and the D/s lifestyle and we all know 50 Shades is so HOT. For writers in the genre, the aspect of the increasing popularity of BDSM is thrilling, but for those of us who delve deeper into the research of the lifestyle for writing or living, the presentation gives us pause. Why is that? Because the D/s lifestyle isn’t about whips, chains and being locked in some dungeon. It’s about trust and control and is very, very emotional for the majority of men and women who thoughtfully engage in the practice. In other words – changing your life to either accepting becoming a Dom/Domme or a sub is life altering and must be considered thoroughly or the entire shift will not work.
On Becoming His is not a BDSM piece per say. The book started for me as an exploration with poems and prose after researching and talking with several practicing Dom’s. Many of you who know me have heard me talk about how valuable the teachings have been and I continue to learn every day. Jezebel is my heroine in On Becoming His and the single book will be turned into a trilogy. She is an extremely complex character in that she is very opinionated, highly intelligent and on the upper echelon of business, is older and in a sense set in her ways and trust me – balls to the walls. She’d just as soon tell you off for pissing her off as anything else. BUT…she has another side and one almost no one knows about.
My male hero Luke, is also highly intelligent and charismatic, has had failed relationships for various reasons and is very attracted to her verve and spirit. When they connected there were sparks and yet something else. The second in the trilogy – On Becoming Her Sir, will show the POV and the intense emotional journey from the Dom’s perspective and will be co-written by the talented writer, Benjamin T. Russell. I think the unique perspective given by an actual male will truly give the reader a broader sense of just how emotional and life altering the consideration is. Engaging in D/s changes everything you know about what you think you believe in. Notice I use the word “think”.
Certain aspects are indeed vastly different than what you see on television and movies or read in the majority of books out there. Jessie is truly realizing just how much she has to break down the walls she’s had around her all her life and while the concept is freeing, it is certainly giving her angst. Or as Luke would say – she continues to be willful and he is having a difficult time figuring out how to be the best Dom she needs. Let’s talk with her…
Cassandre: Thank you so much for going 69 Shades of Smut today, Jessie. I hope you can feel open here – we don’t bite unless requested.
Jessie: (laughs) You are quite welcome, but I enjoy a little nipping and licking now and again.
Cassandre: Jessie, you’re a girl after my own heart. I know you and Luke have been together for a little while and are practicing a D/s relationship. So tell me about Luke. What did you find so attractive about him?
Jessie: I was out with some girlfriends on night and I saw him in a dark bar. He simply was the most gorgeous man in the place. I watched him for a little while, from the way he carried himself to the quiet smile he seemed to give everyone around him, and I wanted to know more. No, I had to know more. Whew. He was like a chocolate dream with midnight eyes and a gorgeous smile and long legs and… I’m sorry, I’m just a little hot and horny today.
Cassandre: Oh that doesn’t bother me. He is a sexy man. I hope you don’t mind me saying that. Did you connect that night?
Jessie: (sighs) No worries. I know he is. We talked and danced and I cannot tell a lie. I tried to seduce him that night. I might have a wicked side of me, but I’ve never done that before. The funny thing is he refused.
Cassandre: Hmm – I know what I would have done in that situation but… So how did you start talking and getting closer?
Jessie: Quiet dinners and long talks over glasses of wine. Getting to know him was so easy and natural. We talked for hours about anything and nothing.
Cassandre: And when did the thought about D/s come up?
Jessie: (brushes her hand through her hair and grabs her glass of wine, allowing crimson drops to spill out over the edge) I don’t honestly remember how we talked about it the first time but I knew he had the side of him because I’d been exploring my submissive side for so long in my mind and in some research and I could see all the characteristics within him.
Cassandre: You don’t have to be nervous with me. Seriously. I know this is something that is very emotional for you. Care to share the characteristics?
Jessie: (Licks the wine off the rim and gives Cassandre a saucy stare) His demeanor is completely at ease but all controlling. When he looks at me I can tell in his eyes when he’s happy or disappointed. When I was first getting to know him, he simply had an air about him of confidence and I knew. It was a woman’s instinct. I noticed a post he’d done on Facebook and asked him about it. When he admitted he has written the D/s piece I knew and we went from there.
Cassandre: Now the big question and one I realize everyone wants to know is very personal so feel free to say what you want. You’re a very confident woman and you have success on so many levels. You’re considered powerful in business and you have everything you could ever want. I also notice you are very bold and dominating yourself. Why would you want to be a submissive and why Luke?
Jessie: (nibbles in her bottom lip and looks away briefly) I asked myself that for about two years. Why? The simple answer was and still is that I’ve never been happy. I’ve had mixed relationships over the years and nothing worked. I never got any satisfaction, including in bed, from any of them. I looked hard at myself and knew I needed a man to control me, nurture me and discipline me as necessary. I honestly had no idea what I was trying to find initially and that’s why I’ve done so much research. The why Luke answer is easy and yet complicated. I trusted him from moment one in all ways and without question.
Cassandre: (grins and shakes her head) oh no. There’s more. Spill the dirty and yummy details for me about him.
Jessie: (pouts and then breaks into a giggle) Oh no you don’t. If your readers want to know just how sexy he is then they have to read the book that was written about our journey. Maybe you’ve heard of it – On Becoming His.
Cassandre: Party pooper, but I think I know the writer so I should be able to get a copy. (winks) All right then, you also used the word complicated as well. Why?
Jessie: Luke the man is my best friend, my mentor, my lover and my mate. His is my patient and loving disciplinarian and the man who has my best interests at heart. He can be both understanding and demanding in his wants and needs and I have had difficulty being molded into what we both know is my needed role as a submissive.
Cassandre: Interesting. In other words you are both still learning your roles and about each other?
Jessie: (leans forward and drags a wisp of stray hair from Cassandre’s face) Yes, sexy woman. This is a life long journey for both of us. When we finally accepted that as the simple truth our relationship began to soar. One tidbit of juicy gossip – yes sexually we excel as partners and he has every part of me. I have begun exploring all aspects of my sexuality because of how uninhibited I am. We share and enjoy partners together at his choosing and the joy of giving him that aspect is exhilarating.
Jessie: (giggles and sips her wine) You could say that. He is powerful. We’ll leave it at that.
Cassandre: Whew. It’s hot in here. Is there anything else you’d like to tell our readers before you go?
Jessie: I don’t want to make light of this. While we are a very sexual and passionate couple, he is my Sir. I am controlled and owned by him body and soul and choosing this lifestyle was my need as well as his. It is not for everyone. Choosing to become a Dom didn’t mean Luke wanted to be a sadist and whip me every day. Discipline is involved of course, and I take my punishment without question, but he is kind and loving and giving in ways no other man has been with me. This is not something to be entered into lightly. No matter what your penchant, dominant or submissive, you have to completely be honest with yourself, your partner and trust without a single question. And you must forgive yourself when you fail.
Cassandre: Excellent advice. I have the link for your powerful book in case others want to read. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate look at your relationship with Luke.
Jessie: Anytime and um, Cassandre, we do enjoy a third remember…
Cassandre: I think I need to talk with Luke.
WHERE TO STALK ME