Posts Tagged With: Fondled and Gobbled

New release-Fondled and Gobbled One More Slurp

Okay, I’m a bad promo whore. Bad, bad, bad. For a chick who writes dirty books I should be much better at pimping myself out, but I practically missed the release of this awesome book written with my very funny crazy bitch friends.

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A well-endowed germophobe goes for a wild ride with a woman who knows no boundaries and her inadequately endowed boyfriend. Two BDSM novices learn that not everyone can top—when everyone wants to sub. Big boobs, big hair, a shrill voice and gunfire fetish—the hero finds the perfect woman. A girl who’s never seen a penis before—but her momma told her what to do if a man ever whipped one out in front of her.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

An Exotika® erotica anthology from http://www.ellorascave.com/fondled-and-gobbled-one-more-slurp.html

Find it at Ellora’s Cave, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

Sky Robinson
~Add a little sexy to your day~
Categories: New Release | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Visions of Cavemen

I’ve been so busy getting my swag ready for Romanticon that I almost forgot to do this post! So rather than blather at you I’ll post visual stimulation. How’s that 🙂

The rack cards I’m taking with me. Yes, I designed them myself too! Four of my eight covers

rack cards

The image for the poster that will be used during my game at the Carnal Carnival. Put the Junk on the Hunk. In case you don’t know him, this is John Quinlan. Hie thee on over to his web page for more!2013 Official Alpha Male Underwear Image Model John Quinlan small

and another shot of him.The Most Tattooed Male Romance Cover Model in the World John Quinlan small

The books I’ll be signing:

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and now I must get some beauty sleep as visions of cavemen, readers, authors and bollywood dance in my head.

You can find me at:

www.cristalryder.com

https://twitter.com/#!/CristalRyder

The Cabal of Hotness

https://www.facebook.com/cristal.ryderauthor

Ellora’s Cave

All Romance ebooks

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Goodreads

Sybarite Seductions

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Do You Like it Messy?

A new release from four authors of the Cable of Hotness!  Fondled and Gobbled: Messier Than Ever.

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His plan was to find a mate to give him offspring, not to bear the children himself! Can a centuries-old city vampire and a honky-tonk country honey accept each other’s unusual sexual needs? The perfect dream lover is definitely too good to be true, especially when you’ve been drinking in an Irish pub. What’s a male erotic dancer actually thinking during that lap dance?

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

An Exotika® erotica anthology from Ellora’s Cave

My story is Midnight Dream Lover:

Midnight Dream Lover is exactly that. An erotic dream so lust filled the heroine Chyna will never want to wake up. Chyna’s dream lover is complete with dreamy eyes, a deep rich brogue, and a wickedly talented tongue. Who wouldn’t want that dream lover?

Mini Excerpt

“That’s right, my lovely. Just lie there so you can be fondled and gobbled.” His voice, muffled, came from between her thighs.

Chyna giggled. He spoke so weird and his accent made it all that much stranger. Fondled and gobbled. What a hoot. But that’s just what he was doing and she was loving every lap, suck and tug of it.

“Carry on then, my good man.” She patted the top of his head in approval.

Chyna relaxed on the comfy bed and sighed, slow, long and loud. Her body was abuzz with sensation. She embraced the feelings rushing over her, waiting and longing for the sweet building rush to start again and tip her over. This fine Irish lad was a miracle worker with his mouth—she couldn’t even imagine what the magic of his cock would be like. But good lord, she was sure as shooting going to find out.

You can find me at:

Categories: Books, New Release | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Messier Than Ever

That’s the title of the new Fondled and Gobbled book. It came out yesterday – an anthology with Piper Trace, Amy Ruttan and Justin Whitfield, all of us proud members of the Cabal of Hotness.

 

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Fondled and Gobbled:  Messier Than Ever – Blurb

His plan was to find a mate to give him offspring, not to bear the children himself! Can a centuries-old city vampire and a honky-tonk country honey accept each other’s unusual sexual needs? The perfect dream lover is definitely too good to be true, especially when you’ve been drinking in an Irish pub. What’s a male erotic dancer actually thinking during that lap dance?

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

An Exotika® erotica anthology from Ellora’s Cave

My story is Midnight Dream Lover and here’s a little snippet for you.

Her gaze was fixed on the door and she nearly swallowed her tongue when a figure stepped between her and the light. Such a magnificent figure. Broad-shouldered, slim-hipped, his hands were propped on his hips and the silhouette of his thick, muscled arms made her gasp. It was a man! A man worthy of having her fall at his feet.
His face in shadow, all she could make out was the close-cropped hair, the powerful neck and a body she wanted to hang herself on. The sweet ache of lust scurried through her and her pussy dripped. Chyna’s nipples hardened and she felt as though her clothes fell away when the glitter of his blue eyes from his shadowed face met hers. Never had such an instant attraction for a man struck her with such force. On the heels of that notion was the feeling like she was suddenly naked. She shook her head and tried to refocus as it dawned on her she was falling again and this time she was careening into this mountain of a man.
Come to me, baby. If I’m gonna fall, it better be into your strong, waiting arms.

You can find all my books on Amazon and of course this book at Ellora’s Cave

Related books in the Fondled and Gobbled extravaganza are Someone Had To Do It, Going Back for Seconds, Back For More and Messier Than Ever. Watch for One More Slurp coming August 28.  All from the Cabal of Hotness!

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, New Release | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Good Sports ;)

So, March is over and I have the lucky date of giving you a post on April Fool’s!  My mom was always doing silly things on April Fool’s and I’ll miss that this year. But on we go, right?

I’ve been trying to think what to do for April Fool’s on the blog but I have nothing. Sorry. But I’m still going to give you something yummylicious to contemplate, to drool over, to die for….to crave. Apple pie! Hah, got ya. Yep, my apple pie recipe. I made two over this Easter weekend. One for my dad’s 90th birthday and one for Easter Dinner. I hope you enjoy it and aren’t too upset with only getting a pie recipe. However, I do encourage you to hang around just a little bit longer after the pie.

Apple Pie

1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie

1/2 cup unsalted butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

8 apples – peeled, cored and sliced

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
  2. Have a two crust pastry ready. Either your home made or store bought. If you want to get fancy, have lattice work ready.
  3. Melt the butter in a saucepan. Stir in flour to form a paste then add water and sugars. If you want to put a dash of cinnamon in it, sprinkle into the mixture
  4. Bring to a boil, stirring. Reduce temperature and let simmer a minute or two.
  5. Fill bottom crust with apples, mounded slightly.
  6. Either  1 – Cover with a lattice work crust and gently pour sugar mixture over the crust. OR  2 – pour it over the apples and add top crust. Careful the mixture doesn’t run off.
  7. Brush top crust with egg white wash.
  8. Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Continue baking for 35 to 45 minutes, until apples are soft and crust is golden.

Are you still here?

Because, I am going to give you some smut too! Oh yeah, what’s a blog without smut right? So here you go, a little bit of spoofy, smuty, smexy fun. Have you heard of the Fondled and Gobbled books? Well, I’m proud to be in the second volume with my story Keep ’em Coming. A great group of authors that I have the pleasure to be a member of wrote these great books. We’re the Cabal of Hotness and plan to corrupt the world, one reader at at time. So get corrupted already! Three more books are coming out over the next little while. But for now, here’s a little bit about the first two.

Fondled and Gobbled: Someone Had to Do It

The perfect man—with the imperfect cock and oral skills. The Dom who isn’t a dom, and the man who proves it to him. The alien with dessert-flavored semen and three cocks. The older man (a kajillionaire with a penthouse in Seattle…) who has limitless ability to come all night with his naïve little virgin. goingbackforseconds_msrA woman on a diet who craves a feast of meat and finds herself five Broadshaft Brothers who can deliver.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back for Seconds

The virgin whose carefully planned hymen removal doesn’t work out the way all the romance novels told her it would. A busty broad doing what she can to get over her penis anxiety—assisted by a cadre of male strippers. A not-so-bright (and not so “big”) alien who comes to claim his life mate, and the Earth girl who wants to be claimed at all costs. A cursed, mute shapeshifter who needs to pop his cherry with his unsuspecting fated mate.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

Excerpt from Keep ’em Coming

She was hornier than a two-peckered toad watching these hotties strip, bump and grind onstage all night. Now she was going to be up close and personal. See those penises full on and hopefully the banana hammock would fall off. Ravyn stumbled up the stage steps, her toe catching on the lip. She tried to catch herself before catapulting onto her belly. Fuck she was clumsy! She hit the stage like a train wreck. Arms flung out in front, sliding down the runway into Mack’s legs, nearly knocking him off his feet.

Rolling onto her back, she looked up at him. Past the muscular thighs, and zeroed in on his bulging package that loomed over her. She licked her lips and lay there like a dumb ass.

Coming Soon!

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Now since you’ve all been such good sports for my spoofiness on April Fool’s. Here’s some REAL eye candy. Ellora’s Cave Cavemen.

cavemen not fuzzy

You can find me at:

www.cristalryder.com

https://twitter.com/#!/CristalRyder

The Cabal of Hotness

https://www.facebook.com/cristal.ryderauthor

Ellora’s Cave

All Romance ebooks

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Goodreads

Sybarite Seductions

Lyrical Press

Categories: Guest Post, Life, New Release | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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