Author Archives: Mia Ashlinn

About Mia Ashlinn

I'm an erotic romance author who tells torrid stories of men willing to share, women strong enough to submit, and the love that binds them together.

Soap Operas, Smut, and Sisterhood!

You know what my favorite part of writing is? Well, other than the hot bi guys who share and the whole falling in love and living happily ever after part. I love, love, love getting to write a cast of characters. You might be wondering what I mean by a ‘cast of characters.’ Well, I am referring to the supporting people in the story. It’s kind of like a soap opera (cheesy comparison, I know)—there’s one couple (in my case, grouping) you focus on, but there are a whole host of characters surrounding them. And you can’t help but eat these people all up—even though, in the scheme of things, they’re not really the reason you’re watching the show in the first place.

Now I know most consider these people to be ‘secondary characters.’ But for me, they’re not. These people are essential—to the story and the other characters. See, we don’t live in a world where it is all about us and our significant others. We have families and friends. And while we often want to strangle them (or at least, I do), we love them. We want them to be a part of our lives. So how could I write a book where there were no relationships outside the ménage? I couldn’t. And frankly, I wouldn’t.

That being said, I don’t write non-sexual relationships because I have to. No, I find great pleasure in writing relationships that I would love to have myself. For example, in my Sweet Serenity series, there are three women who have the kind of friendship I would have given anything to have growing up. Jaycee, Katie-Anne, and Shannon have been friends through thick and thin for as long as they can remember. And nothing and no one could tear them apart. To me, that’s a true gift. In The Doms of Kinky, Kansas, there is a social circle that I find fascinating. Now, I haven’t had time to reveal the inner complexities of this group’s relationship to everyone. Yet. After all, I have only written one book in that series. But still, these people have a deep, rich history. It’s not like they just magically showed up in Kinky and Poof! they’re friends. No, these people are with the people they care about. They came to town to be with these people, not just to move to a place where BDSM and ménage relationships run rampant. I find that level of commitment and unity in a friendship to be a true treasure.

As you can imagine, my next release Their Luscious Dream (Love in Luscious, KS #2) is no different. I have a huge cast of characters. Probably the biggest group yet. But it isn’t about the size. It’s about the selfless, unconditional, generous love they share with each other—all of them. They don’t say that Love knows no boundaries in Luscious for nothing. Everyone (yes, everyone) cares about everyone else. It doesn’t matter if its the sexy beasts who run The Luscious Lady (yeah, you know who I’m talking about…Sam, Brett, and Ethan), the hippie lady living in a tent in the park, the incense-loving man who drives the vintage VW bus as a cab, or the full-grown flower children that run the Paisley House. They all have an emotional connection. Even the boho trio who own and operate Nature’s Garden get in on the love. (No, not that kind of love, you naughty, naughty man or wicked, wicked woman!)

Of course, like in Serenity, I have a soft spot for three women in particular in Luscious. Now don’t get me wrong. These three are nothing like Jaycee, Katie-Anne, and Shannon. They aren’t supposed to be. No, these three are sisters. But they’re not just any sisters. They’re the sisters I would have wanted had I not been an only child. They are smart and sassy, smart-mouthed and perverted. They pick and prod at each other. They joke and play pranks—like in this scene from Their Luscious Dream:

“Excuse me, Tate,” Haven said, her voice sounding as smooth as melted butter and as sweet as candy. “Can I have this?” When her best friend nodded, she grabbed Harper’s made-from-scratch muffin off his plate and threw it at Athena’s head.

Athena bent sideways, effectively dodging the projectile whole grain bread, then laughed her ass off. Harper and Haven joined in, and half of the damned café clapped as though they were at the opera rather than in a café with deviant workers.

And they’re completely, totally, utterly honest with each other—brutally so. They’ve been known to call each other on their bullshit a lot. Like here in Their Luscious Dream:

“Peckerface,” Athena muttered, using Haven’s favorite insult when someone pissed her off.

“Hey, that’s my word,” Haven grumbled as she stole a banana from Tate’s plate. Her best friend didn’t even bat an eyelash at her theft. “And you can’t call Jagger that. He’s my brother, and I love him.”

Harper snorted. “Didn’t you call him a peckerfaced fucknugget last week?”

“He called me a name first,” Haven defended before biting into the banana in her hand.

“Yeah, he called you Haven Moon Kelley,” Harper countered before snagging Haven’s banana and taking a bite of her own.

Grinning, Haven waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t get technical, sis. Haven Moon Kelley is a name.”

Harper threw her hands up in a dramatic display of exasperation. “It’s your name!”

Haven attempted to take back her banana. But Harper dodged her.

For all their posturing, bickering, and blustering, these three would go to the end of the world for each other. They have each others’ back. Like in this teeny-tiny snippet (if you would call it that) from Their Luscious Dream:

 A hush rippled through the room. All eyes turned on Athena, who paled visibly. “I, uh, don’t know how to say this.”

“Say what?” Haven bent at the waist and propped her elbows on the stainless steel countertop. “You killed someone, and you need us to hide the body. If so, we’re going to need some supplies.” She hummed. “Wonder if Maverick keeps a wood chipper at The Catch All.”

In all honesty, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy for their sisterhood. I wish I had that kind of relationship. But since I wasn’t blessed with sisters, I have found that living vicariously through these three has been the most beautiful (and hilarious) non-bedroom, non-sexual-love experience of my writing life—to date. I just hope that the people who read this book will feel a kinship with these three, too. And if not them, someone else. After all, I’m a character driven writer. And as a character writer, I want everyone to love the characters as much as I do. Okay, that might not be possible because I’m a bit…attached to them. LOL. But if one person out there cares for the characters even a tenth as much as I do, then I’ve done my job right.

So now that I’ve teased you, scroll down a little bit, and you’ll get a bigger and better glimpse into the world of Athena, Harper, and Haven!

Until next time…

Love and cherries,

-Mia

p.s. I’m running a contest in honor of the release of Their Luscious Dream on Monday, August 12th! For more information, follow this link: a Rafflecopter giveaway. By the way, one of the ways to earn an entry through Rafflecopter is to leave a comment here! 🙂

 

*** Now let’s get to the good part…Their Luscious Dream! ***

Their Luscious Dream (Love in Luscious, KS 2) photo TheirLusciousDream_Full_zps4b8f8d80.jpg

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BLURB

Athena Xanthopoulos is on a mission. She’s moved to Luscious, Kansas to reconnect with the parents she doesn’t remember and meet the siblings she’d only dreamed of having. But she didn’t count on finding men like Sam Carrington, Ethan Bartlett, and Brett Monroe.

Sam, Ethan, and Brett love each other, and they’re committed to their marriage. Yet still, they dream of a family that includes a wife and children. Only they believe their dream is just that—a dream.

Then Athena walks in.

Now the men who’d felt their dream was out of reach see babies in the mysterious blonde’s eyes. And the woman who’s lived life as an outsider yearns to belong.

But Athena’s conservative childhood tells her what she craves is wrong. Can the men convince her sharing isn’t wrong but oh-so-deliciously right? Or will she hold onto what she knows, dashing the men’s dreams and dooming herself to a lifetime without the men she’s grown to love?

NOTE: This book is not stand-alone. To find out how the dream began for Sam, Brett, and Ethan check out Luscious Beginnings (MMM).

Special 69 Shades of Smut Excerpt

Athena whirled around. “You’re like a dog with a bone.”

“What’s with all this animal talk?” Harper asked as she returned from delivering food to one of the tables. “I hear one of you yapping about cats in heat and the other blabbering about dogs with bones. I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to get it.” Haven tugged on her sister’s recently dyed hair. “I never get your crazy hair, so we’re even.” Letting go of the rainbow-colored strands, she winked. “I have to get back to work anyway. I would really hate to burn my buns.”

“I’ll burn your buns.” Athena’s lips tipped up into a smile. “With a hot baking sheet to the butt.”

Like Athena had hoped, her sarcasm didn’t fall on deaf ears.

“Excuse me, Tate,” Haven said, her voice sounding as smooth as melted butter and as sweet as candy. “Can I have this?” When her best friend nodded, she grabbed Harper’s made-from-scratch muffin off his plate and threw it at Athena’s head.

Athena bent sideways, effectively dodging the projectile whole grain bread, then laughed her ass off. Harper and Haven joined in, and half of the damned café clapped as though they were at the opera rather than in a café with deviant workers.

Only one person didn’t seem amused in any way, shape, or form—her brother, Jagger Blue Star Kelley. He was scowling at them from his counter on the opposite side of the serving area. As usual, Mr. Stick Up His Ass had his eyes trained on her. Not that that was surprising. He didn’t hide his distaste for her or her antics. “Get to work,” he barked.

Athena knew he was talking to her, not Harper or Haven. And he made it known to everyone in the dining room when he turned to the two sisters he’d grown up with and said in a much softer voice, “You, too.”

Athena didn’t flinch at his obvious snub. She didn’t even acknowledge him. She spun on her heel and headed to the sink where she washed her hands with water that was painfully hot. When she was done, she wiped her reddened hands and got back to work.

A short time later, Harper and Haven returned to her side. Both of them patted on her back, the strikes gentle and surprisingly soothing, and she sighed.

“Ignore Jagger. He’s such a douchenozzle sometimes,” Haven said.

Harper was far more defensive of their older brother. “He just doesn’t know you. Once he does, he’ll warm up to you. He’ll love you. Like we do.”

Guilt speared Athena in the chest. She should tell them who she was. She should—right here, right now, this very second. She even opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

Harper touched her chin then helped her shut her mouth. “It’s okay. We know. You don’t like him any more than he likes you.”

Wasn’t that the truth? She couldn’t stand Jagger. He treated her like crap. Every day, he tried to fire her for one reason or another. And every night at closing, he bitched at her for something she’d done. She was doing this wrong. Or she was doing that wrong. No matter what, she was in the wrong.

“Peckerface,” Athena muttered, using Haven’s favorite insult when someone pissed her off.

“Hey, that’s my word,” Haven grumbled as she stole a banana from Tate’s plate. Her best friend didn’t even bat an eyelash at her theft. “And you can’t call Jagger that. He’s my brother, and I love him.”

Harper snorted. “Didn’t you call him a peckerfaced fucknugget last week?”

“He called me a name first,” Haven defended before biting into the banana in her hand.

“Yeah, he called you Haven Moon Kelley,” Harper countered before snagging Haven’s banana and taking a bite of her own.

Grinning, Haven waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t get technical, sis. Haven Moon Kelley is a name.”

Harper threw her hands up in a dramatic display of exasperation. “It’s your name!”

 PRE-ORDER NOW!

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, Characters, New Release, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Where They Lead, I Will Follow…Grumbling and Cussing the Whole Way

Would you jump off a cliff if your friends told you to? Growing up, my mom pulled this goodie out of her wise parent arsenal more often than not. I’m sure yours did, too. After all, it’s a common mom-ism. Like Do as I say, not as I do, Because I said so, and Do you want a spanking?  Yep, as a red-blooded adult woman with kinky tendencies, that last one made me laugh, too.  Heaven knows I love a good spanking from the hubby.

But, as always, I’m digressing…

So before I fall into the gutter and play with my naughty mind, we should get back to jumping off cliffs and friends. Wow, that sounded seriously wrong. Ah crap, y’all know what I mean. I’m talking about following others obediently like a bunch of brainless minions trailing behind His Royal Evilness The King of Villain-ville.

Now, I’m not a fan of following people. Why? Because I like to be different. I like being the weirdo, the perv, and the freak. It makes life fun. At the very least, it makes life interesting. Or so that’s what my husband tells me—a lot. But as a writer, following the characters is necessary. And while it is a necessity, I hate it.

Yep, I admit it. I do not like being out of control. My inner control freak gets all pissy and starts pulling her frizzy hair out, which leaves me outwardly grumbling and cussing at anyone who comes within hearing distance. On a bad day, I’ll start growling and snarling like a deranged beast. Let me tell you, it’s not a pretty sight to see. However, the books I write are not about me. They are not my story. They belong to the characters they’re centered around. Ergo, I have to suck it up and be their puppet. Right?

Right.

Only I don’t work well that way. I swear I spend as much time fussing and fighting with my characters as I do writing their story. Why? Because I’m a glutton for punishment, of course. See, the characters always win. Always. I know that. And they know that. Still, I refuse to cave. But hey, no one can deny that I’m a stubborn and persistent and slightly off-kilter woman. I mean, seriously, I hear voices in my head, and I argue with them—even though I know it is a losing battle. I figure that puts me in the slightly off-kilter category. Well, that’s nicer than what a psychiatrist might tell me.

Geez. I’m getting off topic again

So what does my rambling have to do with the price of tea in China? Well, I’m getting to that. Patience, my friends. Patience.

Recently, I started working on a new story. No, I won’t tell you who. You’ll have to wait and see. But as I dug in to the meat of the book, I realized that she wasn’t ready yet. It wasn’t her time for a book. What do you think I did? I’ll give you three guesses:

1. I immediately stopped her story and started a different, more pressing one. After all, I’m a smart writer. Oh yeah baby, that’s me.

Or

2. I chewed my nails and prayed that she’d change her mind. That seemed like the best course of action. Who needs pretty nails? Certainly not moi.

Or

3. I said, “Aw, come on. You know you wanna find your HEA,” and dangled porn in front of the character. Then proceeded to write stuff that would eventually find a new home…in the garbage can. Makes sense to me.

If you took door number three, you would be correct. I continued to write. Of course, the harder I tried, the quieter she became. By the time I chucked her story, she was completely, totally, and utterly silent. Now, no one panic. This heroine and her heroes will be getting their story. Definitely. Without a doubt. One of these days. Just not yet. There are a few things that must happen first.

Yes, I’m planning ahead. And no, the world is not coming to an end. (sniffs) Can you believe it? (sniffs) I’m rather proud of myself, too.

So…are you getting curious yet? Have I intrigued you? (wiggles eyebrows) You know you want to find out who has become the center of my writing universe. You’re just dying to hear which characters are talking so loudly that I’d need ear plugs to muffle them. Aren’t you? Well, I guess I could tell you. But, you know what? I don’t think I will. I think it would be more fun to see if you can figure out who the characters are on your own.

Since I’m such a nice, sweet woman, I shall even share a hint or two or, maybe even, three with you.

  1. The heroine is a mystery.
  2.  One hero is a reader favorite.
  3. And there are not one, but two, other heroes. Mmhhmm…Talk about ‘the more, the merrier.’

Any ideas, anyone? Feel free to leave your guesses in a comment below.

And until next time, don’t do anything I wouldn’t. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, Characters, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

My Luscious Cherry Got Popped!

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Hello all you naughty 69ers. It’s that crazy chick, Mia, again. And boy oh boy, do I have a treat for you. I’m doing something I’ve never done before. I’m letting my characters turn the tables on me. Yep, you know what that means—the three heroes of my next release are going to interview me! Why, you ask? Well, I think they deserve it. After all, they put up with my shenanigans as I popped my Luscious cherry in their book, Luscious Beginnings. So grab a bag of popcorn and a king-sized drink. And don’t forget your camera because blackmail à la Mia is coming your way…

* * * *

As I enter The Luscious Lady, I sweep my eyes around the bar in search of three sizzling hot men. It doesn’t take me a second to locate the three broad backs facing away from me at a table in the furthest corner away from the door. Grumbling, I make my way across the hardwood floor and join Brett, Sam, and Ethan at the table.

Mia: (grumbles) “You bastards would put me in the corner for this interrogation—oops, I mean interview.”

Sam: (flashes an angelic smile) “I told them not to, but Brett and Ethan insisted.” (angelic smile turns sinister) “And you know how persuasive they can be.”

Mia: “Meaning you sold me out to get laid.”

Sam: (shrugs) “I love you, Mia. Really, I do. But a man has needs…”

Brett: (snorts) “He’s full of shit, Mia.”

Mia: “I know. Boy gets laid more than anyone has a right to.”

Sam: (winks) “Jealous, much?”

Mia: (barks a laugh) “Ha! Between my hubby and writing you three, I’m perfectly satisfied. Thank you very much.”

Ethan: “Speaking of you…”

Mia: (cringes) “Yes?”

Ethan: “We have some questions for you.”

Mia: (groans) “Did you three make a list?”

Brett: (raises eyebrows) “What do you think?”

Mia: “That would be a no.

Sam: “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.”

Mia: (chuckles) “Does that mean I get a prize?”

Brett: “Depends on what it is.”

Mia: “Spoilsport.”

Ethan: “Nah, Brett’s just smart enough to know what you’d do if we gave you a prize.”

Mia: “I’d get to watch you three have wild monkey sex?”

Brett: (shakes his head) “You would try to wiggle your way out of this interview.”

Mia: (tosses her hair over her shoulder indignantly) “I know not what you speak of.”

Sam: (cough) “Bullshit.” (cough)

Mia: “Bite me.”

Sam: “Where?”

Ethan: “Guys! We haven’t even started, and we’re off topic.”

Mia: (mumbles) “Brett’s not the only spoilsport around here.”

Ethan: “Someone has to be.”

Sam: “Normally, it’s Brett’s job to keep us corralled. But he’s got a soft spot for you. He’s likely to let you slide.”

Mia: (blushes) “Aww!”

Brett: (gives Sam the evil eye)

Ethan: (clears his throat) “So…our book is about three men.”

Mia: (nods) “Yes.”

Ethan: “What was it like writing a book without a woman in the middle of the man-sandwich?”

Sam: (chuckles) “Ooh, I want to know all about Mia popping her MMM cherry.”

Mia: (sticks her tongue out at Sam) “Pervert.”

Sam: “Hell yeah!”

Ethan: “Mia…”

Mia: “It wasn’t what I expected.”

Ethan: “How so?”

Mia: “Well, I don’t have the same equipment as you three.”

Sam: (grins crookedly) “You don’t? I never would have guessed.”

Mia: “Bite my ass.”

Brett: (groans) “You shouldn’t have said that. He totally will.”

Mia: “I’m so not scared of him.”

Sam: “You should be. Behind my good looks, I’m mean and scary.”

Mia: (chokes on her laugh)

Ethan: “Can we get into Sam’s evil twin later?”

Sam: “You want in my evil twin?”

Ethan: “Damn it, I don’t want to be the hard ass anymore. He’s just giving me too much material to play with. Brett, dear.”

Brett: (growls) “I’m not a hard ass.”

Sam: “Although, you do have a hard ass. A very hard one.”

Mia: (shakes head) “I should call you Shameless Sam.”

Ethan: “That’s only one of the things you could call him.”

Sam: (flips Ethan off)

Ethan: “You wish.”

Sam: “I will.”

Brett: “Boys! If I have to break you up one more time today…”

Mia: “Now that sounds far more interesting than little ‘ol me.”

Brett: “Mia Grace Ashlinn, you’re as bad as Dumb and Dumber.”

Mia: (bats her eyelashes innocently) “Moi?”

Sam: “She did write us, Brett. A woman has to be a bit…what’s the word?”

Ethan: “Twisted.”

Brett: “Wicked.”

Mia: “Perverted.”

Sam: “All of the above.”

Mia: (giggles) “I feel so loved.”

Brett: “You should.”

Mia: “Okay, okay. You’re making me feel guilty, Brett. I promised to give y’all free reign over the interview, and here I am distracting Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.”

Brett: “They tend to drag out a person’s inner heathen. Don’t they?”

Mia: (nods) “Now hit me with the next question before I change my mind.”

Ethan: “Technically, you didn’t answer the last question.”

Mia: “Oh yeah. I forgot.” (smiles sheepishly) “I, um, was out of my depth with the whole man on man on man action. So I did what a naughty girl does. I pulled out the porn.”

Sam: “Porn! Did you get When Harry Met Sally’s Brothers? That’s a goodie.”

Mia: “Oh, I know how you feel about When Harry Met Sally’s Brothers.

Brett: “We all know.”

Ethan: “Shut up, Brett. We all have a soft spot for that movie.”

Mia: “I remember. But sadly, I didn’t have that one. I had to settle on the stuff I found on the internet.”

Sam: “Hey, there’s some good stuff online.”

Mia: “Some being the key word.”

Sam: “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy soaking up hours of gay porn.”

Mia: “No comment.”

Sam: “That’s what I thought.”

Ethan: “Shit, he’s thinking again. The last time that happened…”

Sam: “You got laid.”

Ethan: “This is true. Keep thinking, Sam. Think hard.

Mia: “Hard is not a problem for you three.”

Brett: “Speaking of hard, did the porn help?”

Mia: “Of course! Porn always helps.”

Sam: (wiggles eyebrows) “You’re not kidding.”

Mia: “Of course, porn wasn’t the only thing I had to do.”

Brett: “Really? What else?”

Mia: “I did some reading.”

Brett: (nods) “Anything else?”

Mia: “I talked to my PA Tina—a lot.”

Sam: (chuckles) “Tina? As in Tina?”

Mia: “Mmmhmm.”

Sam: “I like her.”

Mia: “I bet you do.”

Ethan: “Don’t get him started. Tina gave him the bed head with her obsession.”

Brett: “Hey, we owe Tina. She cracked the whip on Mia when she needed it.”

Mia: (glowers) “But she wasn’t nice about it.”

Ethan: “Did you want her to be?”

Mia: “No.”

Sam: “Why did she need to crack the whip anyway?”

Mia: “Because I like the shinies.”

Brett: “Try again.”

Mia: “Because she’s a sadist.”

Ethan: “Try again.”

Mia: “Because I’m a perfectionist, and I went overboard.” (laughs)

Brett: “Don’t you always?”

Mia: “Of course. But this was different because…” (blushes) “Luscious is my baby. I poured everything I had into this town. I mean everything. Then there’s the fact that Luscious Beginnings is about the three of you. See, you guys have been with me since day one. At least one of you has been in every story, and you guys have carried across Serenity, Kinky, and finally Luscious. That made me crazy insane about getting this story just right. I owed you guys. God knows I love you, too.”

Sam: “That’s so sweet.” (sniffs) “I think I threw up a little in my mouth.”

Ethan: “Shut up, Sam.”

Sam: “Why? She knows I’m not into all that mushy stuff.”

Ethan: “Because she’s working on our second story, Their Luscious Dream. The last thing we need is to piss her off.”

Mia: “Don’t forget that I’m tight with Athena. I would hate to bring her into it.”

Ethan: “You wouldn’t.”

Mia: “Really?”

Sam: “She wouldn’t. She loves Athena.”

Mia: “You suck.”

Sam: “I do—often.”

Mia: “Speaking of sucking, can I watch?”

Ethan: “Why don’t you write?”

Mia: “Crap, I am supposed to be writing right now. I did kind of leave Athena hanging. If you three are willing to relieve me of my interview duties, I’ll get back to work. Right now.” (hopeful grin)

Brett: “Yes!”

Sam: “Hell yeah!”

Ethan: “I guess. We wouldn’t want to leave our girl hanging. But later, you’re ours.”

Mia: “That sounds…entertaining.”

Brett: “Nah. Next time, we’re going to make you talk.”

Mia: “How are you going to do that?”

Ethan: “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

(Dum-dum-dum plays overhead)

Well, I guess that’s the end of that…for now. But since I’m in such a good mood from my visit with Brett, Sam, and Ethan, I think I’ll give away an ARC of their first book, Luscious Beginnings, in the e-book format of the winner’s choice. All you have to do is leave one (or more) question(s) you would like Brett, Ethan, and/or Sam to answer in a comment below. On Tuesday, I will draw a winner!

Love and cherries,

-Mia

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Luscious Beginnings

Love in Luscious, Kansas 1

Release Date: June 17, 2013

Pre-Order Now!

Blurb:

Sometimes what a person wants most has been standing in front of them all along.

Four months ago, an eye-opening discovery drove Sam Carrington away from his best friends, Brett Monroe and Ethan Bartlett. Now he’s beginning his new life in Luscious, Kansas. But still, he longs for the men he loves.

Brett and Ethan were shattered when Sam vanished. Every day since his disappearance has been devoted to finding him. However, their search is in vain because two of Sam’s powerful friends made sure he was impossible to find.

After Sam is stabbed while protecting a friend, he shuts everyone around him out. Concerned for his emotional well-being, one of his protectors turns to Brett and Ethan for help. Once the men know where Sam is, they’ll do whatever it takes to get him back. Only their journey won’t be easy. And the path they must take will lead them to either a luscious beginning or a heartbreaking end.

NOTE: Luscious Beginnings is truly just the beginning for Sam, Brett, and Ethan. After finding their HEA, a new dream will come along in the form of a woman named Athena in Their Luscious Dream (MMMF), to be published later this summer.

Story Excerpt:

Wow. That was…surreal. Maybe this place is going to be my new beginning after all.

Ten minutes later, Sam guided his car into the parking lot outside of Tate’s apartment building then pulled into an open spot and switched off the ignition. He felt even more optimistic than he had just a little bit ago. His heart was lighter, his mood brighter. Yes, he’d turned on the wrong eccentrically named road and gotten lost, but he still felt more relaxed than he had in ages. Of course, he figured it was hard to be too uptight in a town like Luscious. Shit, the Summer of Love-esque places would bring a smile to anyone’s face.

Speaking of smiles, a grin crept into Sam’s cheeks when he spotted Tate Dawson sauntering toward him. His friend Ella’s younger brother was cocky as hell. And Sam liked that about him. From the first time they’d met, Tate’s personality had drawn Sam in, and they’d immediately hit it off. Since then, they’d spent a lot of time together in Her Majesty’s Pleasure where Sam used to tend bar. And they’d taken to talking on the phone at least once or twice a week after Sam had left Serenity. Now Sam was grateful they’d gotten to know each other. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be so keen on moving in together, even for a brief period of time.

A knock on the car window had Sam’s grin widening. He turned and grabbed the door handle then slung it open and launched himself out of the car. As Sam shut the door behind him, Tate drawled, “Well tickle my dicklestick. I heard some sweet thing had driven his sexy ass into our weird little town, but I had no clue how bangable he would be.” He raked his laughing eyes up and down Sam’s body. “I would totally do you.Often.

Sam chuckled. “So you keep telling me.”

Winking brashly, Tate replied, “I would fuck you, Sam-I-Am. I would fuck you in a hall. And I would fuck you against the wall. I would fuck you in your car. And I would fuck you beneath the stars. I would fuck you in the tub. And I would fuck you in a club. I would fuck you here and there. I would fuck you pretty much anywhere.”

Sam couldn’t help himself. A laugh burst from his lips at Tate’s twisted perversion of Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham. That was typical Tate—wicked, fun, and outrageously flirty. God, he’d missed being around someone who wasn’t so fucking serious. Cough. Rafaello Speranza. Cough. Sam had missed moments like this, where he didn’t have to think about anything or anyone. He could just live. Yep, Luscious is looking better and better.

Feeling playful, Sam returned Tate’s banter with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Oh, buddy, you couldn’t handle a man like me.”

“Want to find out?” Tate quipped without hesitation. “If so, I have a room upstairs. But we’ll have to hurry. My new roommate will be here any minute.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t do quickies. Sorry.”

“You’re missing out,” Tate replied. “Fast and furious is fucking hot.”

“So is soft and slow. But I bet you don’t know how to do that,” Sam teased.

Even in the dim light, Sam could see Tate’s eyes take on a sinister glow. He knew he should be worried. But he wasn’t. Quite the opposite. He was amused, and he couldn’t stop the chuckle escaping the back of his throat.

“Oh no, you didn’t go there,” his friend countered as he tapped his chin with his thick index finger. “Now I have to retaliate.” A contemplative expression settled on Tate’s features before a smirk lightened his handsome face. “I might not know how to fuck soft and slow. But you don’t know how to bang a dude.”

Sam bit the inside of his cheek to keep from howling with laughter. Most guys would be insulted. But he wasn’t, not in the least. If he and Tate weren’t friends, they wouldn’t be joshing around with each other. So Sam was more than happy to play along. Besides, he loved to give it as good as he got it. “It can’t be that much different than…” Sam let the innuendo hang in the air before taking his final punch. “Not that you would know, of course.”

Tate gave Sam a high-five. “Ooh. That’s a good one.” Merriment danced in his friend’s eyes. “I guess that means you win—this round.” His lips twitched. “Now let’s get you inside. Our first time should be in a bed, not on a car in a parking lot for all to see. Well, unless that trips your trigger. In that case, we can negotiate…”

Oh my God. Sam just shook his head indulgently. “Let me get my stuff.” After opening his Range Rover’s rear hatch, Sam removed his duffel bag and suitcase then closed the gate once again. He followed Tate through the front door of the building. Up the stairs, to the left, and down the hall they went. Before long, they were in front of D4 and Tate was letting them into the apartment.

“Welcome home, honey,” Tate drawled. His voice was silky, smooth as a fine wine, as he threw open the door.

“I—” Sam started to say something sarcastic. But when he stepped one foot across the threshold and saw the woman lounging on the couch, he stopped short. Aly Bartlett. “Fuck,” he growled, his expletive flying through the room faster than a speeding bullet.

He’d been found.

Adult Excerpt:

“Fuck.” Brett slapped his hands onto the mattress on either side of him. He fisted the comforter, his back arching off the bed. “Sam…”

Sam shook his head but didn’t release Brett from his mouth. He held still, his sensual lips encircling the base of Brett’s cock, his sweltering mouth enveloping the entire shaft. Despite the rapturous feeling of having his cock halfway down Sam’s throat, and in spite of the warmth cocooning his shaft, Brett didn’t want Sam to choke. And inevitably, he would if they stayed like this.

“Pull back,” Brett growled.

Sam did. He pulled back. But before Brett could catch his breath, Sam started to move, fucking Brett with his mouth, as he lowered himself to the bed. As soon as he seemed satisfied with his position, he raised his gaze to Brett’s once again. Their eyes met, and they exchanged looks. Some were loving. Some were lusty. And some of them were love and lust laced together. Those were Brett’s favorites.

While Sam sucked Brett’s cock, Ethan shifted to his knees. He moved forward, just enough to reach Sam’s waistband. He grasped each side of the thick fabric and started to tug. Sam shimmied his hips at all the right times then lifted up when Ethan ordered him to.

Soon, Brett saw Ethan discard Sam’s pants altogether. Then Ethan swung one of his legs over Sam’s legs and straddled them. “I love this ass,” he declared, his announcement as honest as it was succinct. He swooped his head down before kissing first one cheek then the other. “I can’t wait to fuck it.”

Brett groaned. God, he loved when Ethan talked dirty.

Sam lifted his ass off the bed wantonly, wiggling his hips close to Ethan’s face, but he continued to impale himself with Brett’s cock. Invade, retreat. Invade, retreat. Brett shook. He felt powerless, utterly out of control as raw lust flared inside him, scorching him, leaving him writhing and moaning in unparalleled pleasure. Like a drugged man in need of a fix, Brett’s eyes fell to Sam. He couldn’t help but stare as his shaft, from base to tip, disappeared into the hot cavern that was Sam’s mouth then reappeared a millisecond later. Watching his man suck his dick was sensual—the way his languid eyes drifted closed then reopened as though he were under a spell, how his cheeks were rosy with exertion, and how he inhaled and exhaled through his nose in quick, sharp breaths. It was all unbelievably erotic.

“Stop that,” Ethan growled.

Brett’s eyes snapped over to Ethan just as he brought his hand down onto the flesh of Sam’s ass. A loud thwack immediately followed behind.

Pulling back in a hurry, Sam freed Brett’s cock. “What did I do?” he asked, sounding innocent yet devilish at the same time.

“You won’t stop shaking your ass in my face.” Brett suspected Ethan was going for a firm tone, but he failed. He sounded amused. “A man can’t think when something that succulent is inches from his mouth.”

“Why are you thinking?” Sam turned his head away from Brett and peered over his left shoulder at Ethan. “Better yet, what are you thinking?”

Ethan’s face blushed a ruddy color that somehow looked sexy. “I was thinking about how snug your virgin ass is going to be, how it’s going to wrap around my dick and squeeze tight. And I was thinking about stretching your sweet hole, how good it’ll feel, how much you’re going to love me fucking you, and how loud you’re going to be when you beg for more.”

A groan erupted from Sam. “Oh God.”

Grinning wickedly, Ethan said, “I was imagining what it would feel like to press your body facedown to this bed then crawl on top of you, open your ass, and plunge inside. I was thinking about pounding into you while our favorite voyeur watched. And I was thinking about tying you up, binding you, and leaving you at our mercy.” He leaned forward, slowly slithering along Sam’s spine. “I was fantasizing about spanking you, turning your ass the sexiest shade of red.” He rained kisses up Sam’s back. “Hell, I was even considering what you would do if I took your ass now rather than being a gentleman and waiting.”

While Ethan talked, Brett grasped his cock and started stroking again, his glides steady and sure. The moisture Sam’s mouth had left behind was better than lube. And Brett’s hand moved easily over his shaft.

Sam winked up at Brett, and Brett knew trouble was heading their way. “Since when have you ever been a gentleman, angel boy? And what makes you think I’m some innocent who can’t handle a good pounding?” He grinned, a grin that made Brett squirm. “Trust me when I tell you that I can handle it. The question is, ‘Can you?’”

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, Characters, Contest, Interviews, New Release, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Porn Cooties

Did you know you can get cooties from porn? Yep, you can. Now before you go skinny dipping in the gutter, I am not referring to Herpes, Gonorrhea, or Syphilis. And not Chlamydia or Crabs, either. I’m talking about the moment you say the word porn and every vanilla person within earshot runs for cover. Sheesh, it’s like when David Jones kissed Denise Smith on the playground. The poor girl was blacklisted for weeks. After all, no one wanted to catch cooties!

But alas, we are not children. We are adults. And yet, we still have the cooties mindset. We still have to deal with people who believe porn is disgusting and vile, people who hold the asinine belief that porn-lovers are every bit as disgusting and vile as the videos they watch. Really, though, we’re not. We watch porn because we want to. We watch it because we enjoy it. That doesn’t make us right or wrong. And it doesn’t mean we have some plague-like disease we’ll pass on to the first prudish person we see. It means we’re humans with hormones and a lusty libido.

Recently, this strange cootie phenomenon put me smack in an awkward situation. Picture it…I was sitting in a swanky hotel with my three girlfriends. We were chatting about who-knows-what, probably something dirty, when a strange woman approached us. She seemed nice enough so we asked her to sit down and join in the festivities. Not surprisingly, she did. The first few minutes of our exchange appeared to go smoothly. Then the worst thing happened. My PA mentioned porn. (gasps) Talk about a a disaster. The poor new girl paled. She started darting her eyes around as she clearly searched for an exit. Though, she didn’t get up. She continued to sit with us, talking in a stilted, squeaky voice. But she wasn’t really there. She was just trying to be polite long enough to make her escape. I knew it. And so did my friends. Of course, she eventually made some pithy excuse and fled us like a victim running from the axe murdering lunatic in a B-string slasher film.

Once she was gone, the four of us laughed about the prim and proper chick we’d scared the daylights out of. At that point, her revulsion and rejection was rather funny. But in retrospect, her horror wasn’t amusing, not in the least. The horrified look she gave us, the way she shied away, was a little offensive. It wasn’t like we’d done anything wrong. We’d done nothing out of line. No curses or insults had slipped from our lips. In my opinion, we’d been on our very best behavior, not that that is necessarily saying a whole lot. However, she’d treated us as if we were perverts playing a part in a freak show.

Granted, I’m a pervert. And true, I’m a one-woman freak show half the time. But those pervalicious personality traits have nothing to do with my love for porn or my being infested with cooties. They’re just icing on the cake.

So, what about you? Do you have porn cooties? Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of hope you do. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

“You Might Be A Pervert If…” Grumpy Edition

Hi 69ers! I woke up grumpy today. Since I had no good reason for acting like one of the Seven Dwarfs, I decided that a little pick me up was in order. What do I do, you ask? I do what I always do when I’m in a foul mood. I play You Might Be a Pervert If…

Now as some of you may know—I like to share. After all, I do write ménages. So I figured you might want to play too!

Get Ready…

Get Set…

And Let The Game Begin!

You might be a pervert if…your favorite drink is Kinky vodka, even though you’ve never tasted it because you hate mango, blood orange, passion fruit, and vodka.

You might be a pervert if…you love to play naughty Mad Libs like these:

“A Rough Day”

It all started when I awoke with a horny pain in my cock. Then, my call girl was late. We got fucked in traffic for 69 minutes, which made me naughty for my meeting with Ryan Gosling. I apologized roughly to him, which seemed to make things wicked again. But then the meeting turned into vibrators, with him blowing and biting. I sucked when he licked off. On the way home, we passed a dildo on a butt plug. Suddenly the dildo nibbled in the road and my call girl had to boink to avoid it. In the process, I was kissed from the sex shop, landing on my pussy. I was covered in lube from ass to balls. Could this day get any more luscious? My call girl screwed me back into the sex shop, and we made our way back to the nipple clamps. I went straight to Kinky, Kansas. I was lusty!

OR

“Betcha Can’t Taste the Difference”

Compare our Honey Erotic Romance Novel Toasty O’s to Honey Erotic Romance Novel Lucky Charms Cereal. You’ll moan the taste, and you’ll moan the price.

Porn-O-Meal Bowl cereals are not only salacious, they’re the best story in the cereal aisle. Compare Porn-O-Meal cereals with the groaning box brands, and you’ll see they contain all of the same whips and chains. We use only high quality handcuffs, too, so you can fuck on the sexy cock ring and scorching crop in every bowl.

Make the delicious choice with Porn-O-Meal cereals. For sexy cock ring, scorching crop, and a decadent price, it’s in the bowl!

 

You might be a pervert if…this sex toy has a special meaning to you. (Louisville Slugger, that’s all I’m saying.)

 photo GirlversionofLouisvilleSlugger_zps350670bb.jpg

You might be a pervert if…you see this in a local liquor store and laugh so hard you snort. (In the voice of Dory from Finding Nemo: “Just Keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…”)

 photo SpermLiquorBottle_zpsdf0b0b1a.jpg

You might be a pervert if…your favorite Bond movie is Octopussy. (Did I mention that you haven’t seen it—or any other James Bond movie—like ever?)

You might be a pervert if…if you watch porn on your smartphone because you have no Internet connection. (Hehehe. A girl has to do what a girl has to do)

You might be a pervert if…you were the only person laughing out loud in the theater while watching Wreck It Ralph.

  • Seriously? A fundgeon? Boy, I want to see the adult version of the ‘fun dungeon.’ (Whips, chains, and handcuffs, oh my!)
  • Holy guacamole! King Candy wants someone to milk his duds. (Not even for money, big boy.)
  • And Sheesh, there’s a character based around a Maraschino Cherry who’s named Jubileena Bang-Bang. Oh, scratch that. It sounded like Bang-Bang. But it is technically Bing-Bing. (My bad.)

You might be a pervert if…”Consider it hammered” doesn’t have the same meaning to you as it does to Pat from Handy Manny.

You might be a pervert if…you hear about the Bunny Bot 3000. But naturally, you assume it’s the vibe to end all vibes. Only it isn’t. The Bunny Bot 3000 is a toy on the Disney show, Jesse. (Oopsie. Glad I didn’t buy that one. Talk about a surprise.)

You might be a pervert if…you can’t drive by the Quaker, Steak, and Lube without a lewd remark. (Come on, Quaker, Steak, and Lube is just too good to pass up.)

You might be a pervert if…the Easy button makes you wistful for high school. (No, I don’t meet this one. I was a good girl back then. Now stop laughing! I’m serious. I was sweet and innocent…for a while. But that hubby of mine had to go and pervert me. Damn, I knew I loved him.)

 photo TheEasyButton_zps370f513e.jpg

Love and cherries,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Don’t Be Mean…It’s Not Nice

You know, it’s funny to me how one nice person can make a bad day better and one mean person can make a good day into a crappy one. Random, huh? Well, there’s a method to madness—as always. I do have a point. It’ll just take a little time to get there. Patience, my dear 69ers. Please. After all, that is the nice thing to do. Right?

Well, it all started this morning…about an hour after I woke up. Like every day, I spent the first sixty minutes of my day running around chasing a seven year-old, feeding her breakfast, and helping her get off to school. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as difficult as some days. So I thought to myself, “Ah, what a great start. It looks like today will be a fantastic day!”

Yep, I spoke to soon.

At exactly seven-thirty am, I sat down and opened my laptop. I turned it on then pulled up the document for Luscious Beginnings (my WIP). And guess what, it’s gone. Okay, that might be over-stating it. But I am a drama queen. In reality, the last day of work, which was a very productive section, was gone. Vamoose. Vanished. Missing in action.

I bet you can guess what happened next…I flipped out and called my husband with an SOS! Help me. Help me before I have a complete and utter meltdown.

Of course, my husband does the Calm down, honey. Is it in your Dropbox? Duh. Of course, it is. I wouldn’t be silly enough to not backup my precious manuscript. That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks: Dropbox is connected to a server…an online server. Double duh. Then something else hit me…I am in a place where there is no Internet connection. None. And the closest “hot spot” is about fifteen minutes away.

So here I went traipsing out of the cabin in the snow, looking like a disheveled mess. We’re talking yoga pants, a t-shirt, and no make-up. Scary, indeed. But I didn’t have time to mess with that trivial stuff. I was lucky to secure my hair in a ponytail.

See, here’s the thing I rented a cabin in the mountains to get away from the world. I thought having some time in my “special” place—without reality seeping in—would help my creative juices flow. And it would give me a way to write until my fingers cramped and my head hurt…or until I finished the story—whichever came first.

But I apparently didn’t think it through. No Internet is a bad, bad thing for writers. Or at least, it’s a bad, bad thing for me.

After leaving the cabin in the middle of no-freaking-where, I drove to the nearest “hot spot.” Wait, that’s not right. First, I took the wrong turn and drove several miles before I realized that I was heading in the opposite direction of where I’d intended. Keep in mind, I was on a narrow, two-lane, country road with big, sweeping, winding curves. So there aren’t a whole lot of places to just whip my car in and turn around. And U-ies are hazardous around here. Although, I have to admit that I considered it. But I was a good girl and stuck to the Safety First motto.

Now finally, I managed to get my car going in the right direction. Several minutes passed before I arrived at my destination. Once I got out, I ambled inside with my hands full and greeted the nice ladies at the front desk. Then I sat down and turned on my laptop. And nothing. The connection was down. Me being me, I was going to “fix” the problem so I didn’t have to drive another fifteen minutes to Starbucks. Seeing that I’m technologically challenged, this was a disaster waiting to happen. And predictably, it was. Ergo, I wasted half an hour for absolutely nothing.

So here I went again…

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the Starbuck parking lot and tried to connect to the Wi-Fi. Again, nothing. At this point, I was really starting to panic. And my head was spinning from all the hyperventilation I was doing. I kept thinking, What if it’s me? What if I’m doing something wrong? What if my laptop’s broken? What if…what if…what if?

Well, I hopped out of my car, praying I’m just too far away for my computer to connect, and trudged into the Starbucks. I hurried over to a table and attempted to access the Wi-Fi. For the third time today, I couldn’t connect to the Internet. Now this is where my panic mutated into a downright freak-out.

When I get like this, I call my husband (the poor man is a saint.) So I dialed his number and explained to him what’s going on. As luck would have it, he helped me get connected to the Internet over the phone. Shew. Disaster averted.

This is where the nice lady comes into play…

Since I was at Starbucks, I figured that a drink would cheer me up. So I went up to the counter and not surprisingly, I had no clue what to order. Like I always do, I asked the barista lady what she would recommend. And she says, “Well, just pick something out. If you don’t like it, we’ll make you something else until you find what you like best.”

Needless to say, I was stunned. Why? Because she was friendly and nice and helpful. And best of all, she reminded me that some days suck. But that doesn’t mean getting grouchy and growling at everyone in sight is a good idea. In fact, it’s not a good idea. It’s a horrid one—because being mean is not nice.

When I left the Starbucks a few minutes later, I was smiling. The barista had made my day a little brighter, and she probably didn’t even realize it. But hey, that’s not necessarily important. Being nice should be done selflessly. It should be something we, as people, just do—for the hell of it.

Now, I must put a question to you. When was the last time you made someone’s day a little bit brighter for no reason at all? I know I’ll be doing it today…and hopefully, every day for a long time to come. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Smutification of Disney World in Five Images…

Happy Hump Day, 69ers! Boy oh boy, it has been an insanely busy week for me. I’m on vacation at the “ aka Walt Disney World. And despite sickness, exhaustion, and crazy weather, I have had one of the best times of my life.

Since I love to share, I thought I would show off some of my snazzy pictures from the trip. Now, I must warn you these are not your typical photographs. No Castle or giant ball (oops, I mean Spaceship Earth). And definitely no Tree of Life or Mickey’s Wizard Hat. These images are, shall we say, for the adults…the ones with a sense of humor and a smutty mind.

So without further ado, here is my Smutty Disney Photo Album…

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A dog bone big enough for 101 Dalmations? Not hardly. How about 101 inches of man bone for a lucky chick?

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Dude, he could spear someone with that thing. And it wouldn’t ‘hurt so good.’

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Are you kidding me? A restaurant called the Outer Rim? I would love to see that menu. Tossed salad  (Google Chris Rock, if I lost you on this one) and BBQ Pork Butt, anyone?

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submissive: “But Master, I didn’t touch any of the other plastic toys! I-I-I swear it.”

Master Lego Man: (Wha-cha)

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The Great Soap Debate: Gnome or Butt Plug? Butt Plug or Gnome? I’ll have to go with…butt plug.

Well, there you have it. I smuttified Walt Disney World in only five images. Just think of the damage I could do with just a few more days…and a couple more images. Mwahaha!

XOXOXO,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

You Might Be A Christmas Pervert If…

Happy Sunday! Today is my day to play—I mean blog—here at the smuttalicious 69 Shades. Well, I guess playing and blogging are both right. After all, I’m here to blog…but I’m mostly going to play—with you. (gasps) I know you’re sitting there with a gobsmacked expression on your face. Me? Play? With anyone? Never! Okay, I’m full of sarcasm this morning. You better watch out. Or maybe, I should be the one watching out. Goodness knows I’m good at saying things that inevitably have me inserting my foot into my mouth. Let me tell you, gnawing on one’s shoe is gross. So hold on for a sec while I run and dump these fuzzy slippers in the closet.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Alright, I’m back—barefoot and happy. Are you curious yet what kind of game I want to play? Do you have any guesses? (The Jeopardy! song plays.) Is that your final answer? Oops, that’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Ah well, you get the idea. So, do you know? Woohoo! You got it. You Might Be a Pervert If…Darn, you figured that pretty fast. I guess I’m getting predictable. I’ll have to work on that. New Year’s Resolution? Hmmm….the possibilities. Oh wait! That’ll be another blog, another day.

Back to the present rather than the future…We’re going to play You Might Be a Pervert If…with a twist. Today’s version is special. It’s my Christmas edition. What started this version of the game was a trip to the store. Of course, I thought of a few snarky lines. Then I hooked up on the phone with my friend, Tina. Getting us together is always trouble in the making. But anyway, the list grew longer. After that, we spiralled. Yep, like that hasn’t happened before. The next thing I know, we’re spouting off random non-store related criteria while laughing hysterically.

Since I love to share, almost as much as I love to laugh, I thought I would play with you too, 69ers! What do you think?

Ooh, you want to play. You’re a very brave cookie. Let’s go before you change your mind. Grab those Santa hats and we’ll rock and roll. Maybe the best Christmas Perv win…

  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…stocking stuffers make you think of teenage boys and socks. (I had to bring in the American Pie. After all, it’s a classic. Yeah right.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you lock onto the twink in twinkle lights which, in turn, makes you think of the really good gay porn video you recently watched. (Not that you were likely to forget. Good porn is hard to find.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…these beaded garland reminds you of miniature anal beads. (These are doable. Right?)

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  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you wonder which Christmas bow would look best around your neck—without anything else on? (Va-va-vom)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…fantasize about how good the velvet ribbon would feel against your skin when you’re tied spreadeagle to the bed. (So soft…)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…this ornament reminds you of last night’s sexcapades. (Butt plug, anyone?)

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Now here’s where we spiralled:

  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you think the North Pole is the stripper pole on the north end of your local strip club. (Of course, the stripper’s name has to be Candy Cane.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you snicker at the line “Eight maids a-milking” while singing The 12 Days of Christmas. (Hello? Roleplay and Bondage. Now that’s real love.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…Tiny Tim reminds you of an ex-boyfriend who never could keep you satisfied. (Sheesh, pencil erasers are bigger than him. And man, he didn’t even know how to use it. Let’s just say, he wasn’t a nice guy because he didn’t finish last, and he definitely didn’t make sure you finished first.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…figgy pudding makes you think of Sophie Oak. (I mean this one in the most affectionate way. Love that Sophie.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you see a candelabra on your dining room table and think of wax play night at the BDSM club. (Oh the memories…)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…you stand under the mistletoe and ask, “Do I get to pick where I get that kiss?” (A little bit lower…lower…keep going…yeah! There! Oh yesssss.)
  • You might be a Christmas Pervert if…hearing Ho Ho Ho makes you look around for who they’re talking about. (A little curiosity never hurt anyone, except maybe the cat. Here kitty, kitty.)

Before you say it, I know I’m not right in the head, but it sure makes my life fun. Now I must go…write and have fun with the people in my head. Wow, that sounded so naughty. Then again, you know what I’m writing, and you are aware of the kind of fun the characters like to have. Wink, wink. Okay, okay. I’m really going to go. Hope you had a good time playing with me. Have a sexy, smutty, and all-around spectacular Sunday. Only sixteen days…until the big day!

Much love and lots of kisses,

-Mia

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Would You Like Pie With That Whipped Cream?

Gobble, gobble 69ers! Okay, that sounds way too wrong—even for me. And that’s saying something. I’m not exactly known for my squeaky clean mind. So, since I’m trying to be good and not pervert my Thanksgiving blog, I think it would be best if we scratched that greeting and started all over again. Hmmm…let me think. I could say the standard Happy Thanksgiving, but I don’t want to. No, I’m not being a petulant child in need of a spanking. Although, I could go with the spanking part. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ll stop that dirty thought in its tracks. Otherwise, my non-smutty-Thanksgiving blog is going to go down the tubes. We wouldn’t want that. Would we? Nope, we wouldn’t.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program. Or in this case—blog.

You might be curious as to why don’t I want to say Happy Thanksgiving. Well, I don’t have a good reason. I just enjoy being ornery. Besides, I don’t like to stick to the in-crowd. I get way too bored that way. So, I think I’m going to go with the less traditional, Happy Turkey Day? Yeah, that sounds better.

Happy Almost-Turkey Day, 69ers! Okay, I’m speaking a bit early. I know. Thanksgiving is a whole thirteen days away. But my mind doesn’t seem to recognize that fact. It’s probably because The Sweetest Dish releases a week from today. Having worked on a Thanksgiving story off-and-on for a couple of months now, it’s rather hard to get my mind out of the holiday season. Not that I mind. I’m all about the family and food. But that’s another blog…for a snowy December day.

The Sweetest Dish was something that I cooked up with the help of my fabulous Publisher. Hehehe. Does anyone have this crazy image of me standing over a cauldron, stirring strange, bubbly green goo, and laughing maniacally while I plot with my Publisher. Well, I can assure you that that’s not the case. Although, that would be a load of fun.

See, I wanted to write this story that kept playing in my mind. And there was no better time than Thanksgiving to do it. Why would that be? Well, Thanksgiving is a time when everyone comes together to count their blessings and eat pie with the people they love/hate. It’s a time to eat, drink, laugh, and be merry. But it’s also a time filled with disaster and drama—and a lot of it. Needless to say The Sweetest Dish has all of the above. It had to. Otherwise, it wasn’t Thanksgiving at all.

So…how about you all? Any disasters? Drama? Great holiday stories? Feel free to share them in the comments. There might be an ARC in it for one lucky commenter. Okay, there’s no might to it. There will be one ARC given away. Good luck! XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

-Mia

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PRE-ORDER The Sweetest Dish (Sweet Serenity 5) NOW

Blurb

Love, laughter, friends, family, and a Thanksgiving none of them would ever forget.

After the highs and lows of the last year, Jaycee Blakemore, Shannon Dalton, Katie-Anne Jacobs, and Ella Blaylock-Asher are ready to celebrate their blessings with the people they love. But the return of their archenemy, Leila Schilling, threatens to destroy their perfect Thanksgiving.

Having spent months plotting the sweetest revenge, Leila’s arrival in Serenity, Kansas, immediately sets off a chain of events that turn Jaycee, Shannon, Katie-Anne, and Ella’s lives upside down. With an arsenal full of old hurts, veiled truths, and past scandals, Leila shamelessly exploits whatever she must to come out on top. However, she goes too far when she hurts the girls’ friend, Sarah Matthews.

Determined to rid themselves of Leila once and for all, the women unite to take her down. Only they discover on their path to vengeance that love is the sweetest dish in life—on Thanksgiving and all year round.

NOTE! The Sweetest Dish is a holiday reunion book in the Sweet Serenity series and is not stand-alone. We recommend reading this book after books 1-4.

Story Excerpt

 

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to worry about that,” Shannon informed Sarah. “The war started the moment that cunt rolled her skanky ass into Serenity and attempted to hurt the people I love.”

Shannon meant every word she said down to the very marrow in her bones. What Leila had done to her was bad enough. But what she’d done to the people Shannon cared about the most was unforgivable. She would pay for all of this or Shannon would die trying to make sure she did. Can we say melodramatic? Of course we can. I’m the drama queen to end all drama queens.

After years of Leila’s bullying, it was time to take off their kid gloves and get rid of her once and for all. But how? It wasn’t like they could murder her. Could we? Shannon shook her head, probably looking odd to everyone else in the bedroom. However, she figured they were used to her insanity. At least, they should be by now.

“We need a plan,” Jaycee said, stating the obvious. “Preferably a damn good one.”

Katie-Anne stood from the bed. She walked over to Sarah, paused beside her, then whispered something into her ear. The two women spoke in hushed tones for a couple of seconds before swinging around and returning to the group.

“There’s only one way to get rid of someone like Leila,” Katie-Anne stated matter-of-factly as she lowered herself to the floor next to Sarah, who’d just sat down Indian-style on the Oriental rug. “And I don’t mean kill her, Shannon Dalton.” She pointedly stared at her then waggled her finger. “You behave. I promise we’ll take care of this, but killing her is too fucking easy. We’re going to do something far worse. We’re going to take away everything that matters to her.”

“Like what?” Sarah asked, her innocence shining through. She drew her eyebrows down in confusion. “The only thing that horrible woman cares about is herself.”

“Exactly,” Katie-Anne exclaimed. Her face lit up in an oddly twisted kind of manner that worried Shannon, and she grinned sinisterly, which worried her even more. “We need to steal away her money, her looks, and her power.”

“How do we do that?” Sarah inquired, her naiveté showing again.

Although, Shannon had to admit that she understood exactly where Sarah was coming from. She was rather confused herself. How in the world could they steal away those three things? They weren’t exactly capable of draining her bank account, marring her face beyond recognition, or making people see the hideous hag she truly was. Okay, we can do some of that—legally.

“I have a few ideas,” Ella replied as she scooted off the chair and dropped onto the floor beside Katie-Anne. Flopping over onto her stomach, she bent her elbows and propped her chin on her hands. She raised her feet from the floor, bending them in the crease and kicking them back and forth. The curvy woman’s actions reminded Shannon of a girl gossiping at a slumber party, and she rolled her eyes.

“We have to do this legally,” Shannon muttered begrudgingly. “Otherwise, Belle will be forced to put us in jail, and Leila will somehow steal and hide the goddamn key.”

Ella snorted. “Belle hates Leila almost as much as we do. She made an enemy of her when she hit on Ash in the middle of Dolce Serenità.”

“It doesn’t exactly matter what Belle thinks,” Brooklyn declared. “She would have to arrest you if Leila pressed charges. And trust me, she will press charges if you’re not careful.”

Something about the way Brooklyn spoke struck Shannon oddly, and she had to ask the question that had been plaguing her since her untimely arrival. “Do you see something you’re not telling us?”

Brooklyn frowned. “I see all sorts of things, but I can’t divulge that kind of information. And I won’t.”

“Fine,” Jaycee grumbled with a frown of her own. “I’ll just call your mama.”

“Good luck with that,” Brooklyn replied smugly, her eyes twinkling in unmistakable merriment. “My mama doesn’t tell me jack shit, and as much as she loves you, she’s not going to tell you either. She believes that there’s no changing the future, but I disagree. Now I’m going to help you change your futures and mine.” Her pretty face flushed as though she’d realized she’d said too much. “Please don’t make me regret it.”

Katie-Anne smiled reassuringly. “We won’t make you regret a damn thing, Brooklyn.”

Brooklyn harrumphed. “Sure you won’t.”

“I think it’s time we welcome you to our club, Brooklyn,” Jaycee said. “Our friendship ménage keeps growing, which is probably a good thing. We’re going to need all the help we can get to take The Bitch down and keep her whoreific ass there.”

“As I always say, the more, the merrier,” Ella declared, grinning cheekily. “With Thanksgiving coming, there’ll be a lot of people around who want in on the action. So let’s get cooking. It’s about time we serve Leila the sweetest dish.”

Shannon liked the idea of cooking the sweetest dish. She was a chef after all. Opening her mouth to respond, Shannon’s words stuck in her throat when the door flew open and revealed her three husbands. Just like she’d expected, Jared and Drew were irate, and Randy was still hurt.

Before she could escape, or even move, all three barreled into the room. Not surprisingly, Drew was the first to reach her. He jerked her into his arms and threw her over his shoulder before stalking out in total, tense silence.

Well fuck a damn duck. Something was going to be cooking all right, but it wasn’t going to be the sweetest dish. It was going to be Shannon, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to be cold.

 

Adult Excerpt

 

 Sauntering away from her husbands on trembling legs, Katie-Anne twirled around until she was positioned by the bed, her body facing theirs. She locked her gaze with Shane’s then removed her clothes, taking her sweet time as she did. Slowly, oh so slowly, she stepped out of the last stitch of her clothing and stood in front of them—vulnerable and exposed.

“Beautiful,” Landon breathed, advancing on her. But Shane stopped him. He slapped a hand across the blond man’s flat abs and shook his head. Landon grumbled but listened. Unfortunately.

Shane grabbed Landon’s hand then tugged, hauling him into his side effortlessly. He kissed Landon—from what she saw, he kissed him thoroughly—before releasing him. “Get the lube and the plug.”

A shiver worked its way through her body, tiny chill bumps erupting all over her skin and racing across the surface. She moaned as Landon stalked across the room, his long, purposeful strides eating up the distance quickly. Before she knew it, he was back—with the plug, a bottle of lube, and a sinful smirk.

Unable to help herself, she grinned. “I love when you look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, knowingly. “Naked? Or horny?”

“A little bit of both,” she retorted. Lowering her eyes to his thick cock, she tacked on, “Not that you’re little, by any means.”

Landon’s smirk grew. “I’m glad you like.”

Shane cleared his throat noticeably, and she snapped to attention. Whoops. “On all fours,” he ordered, pointing toward the side of the bed. “Landon’s going to slide that big plug in your tight little ass while you fuck me with your mouth.”

“God, yes.” She sighed.

Moving to where he’d told her to, she sank to her knees. She leaned forward then braced her hands on the floor. With a secretive smile, she wiggled her hips in Landon’s direction. “Come and get me,” she demanded.

“Katie-Anne,” Shane murmured, a distinct warning patent in his guttural tone. “Behave. I would prefer not to spank you tonight since you think they don’t count.”

Oh they count. I want them to count. I want you to wear my ass out—in more ways than one.

Shane widened his legs, planting his feet on the floor on either side of her shoulders. He groaned as he took his massive cock in hand. Grasping the root, he pumped his shaft in short spurts. The erratic strokes caught her off guard, as did the hands spreading her ass cheeks apart.

Surprised, Katie-Anne squealed. She shoved her ass back toward Landon, but he didn’t acknowledge her in any way. Irritated, she grunted. “Landon.”

“Yes, kitten?”

Shane didn’t allow her to answer. He thrust his lean hips and propelled his powerful cock into her mouth as soon as she opened wide to speak. Burrowing forward, he sent his dick all the way to her throat. She instinctively swallowed when the wet tip bumped against the sensitive back, setting off her gag reflex. Breathing through her nose carefully, she relaxed her jaw, allowing him to fuck her face like he always did—him controlling, her taking.

Katie-Anne jumped as a cool, wet liquid dribbled onto the cleft above her ass. The moisture started at the top of the crack dividing her cheeks then slowly slithered down. She wiggled with each inch the slick fluid covered.

Unexpectedly, Shane tapped her jaw bone. She looked up at him as he looked down at her, and their eyes met at precisely the same time. “Up here.” He grunted, the sound of an aroused man in the throes of lust. “Look at me.”

She did. From his blue-green eyes blazing at her to his jaw ticking furiously, she couldn’t tear her attention from him.

Shane cleared his throat as Landon placed the blunt head of the anal plug against her back opening. Rimming her rosette, he teased her in soft, shallow grazes. His superficial touch was not nearly enough. Pushing back, she beseeched him to do something, to do anything.

And he did. He slipped the tip into her rear entrance. The soft silicone coasted in easily, the burn starting out at a mere simmer. As he tunneled in further, the heat amplified, and her ass stretched to take the tapered toy. She felt him meet resistance at her sphincter, but that minute detail didn’t deter him. He forged on, pressing forward until her ass enveloped the entire plug.

She moaned softly as Landon seated the plug fully. In response, Shane groaned. He clasped her head with his rugged hands, imprisoning her face as he fucked it. The feel of his rough, callused skin against her softer, smoother face soothed her. The sensation aroused her.

Arching her back, she unintentionally fought Shane’s hold, nearly biting his shaft in the process. He tightened his grip on her face, keeping her in place. He continued to piston into and out of her mouth. His groans escalated with each plunge, coming closer together and sounding louder than ever.

Behind her, Landon fitted himself between her outspread legs. Then, without mercy or a moment’s notice, he thrust into her pussy. His primitive plunge drove her forward, pressing her face further into Shane’s hands.

Shane didn’t allow her to move far. Between his hands and cock, she wasn’t going anywhere. And with the way they were fucking her, that was a damn good thing.

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, Characters, Contest, New Release, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

OMG…You’ll Never Guess What Gossip I Just Heard!

Psst! Hey 69ers. Come over here. Hurry! I just heard the best gossip about (please insert poor sucker’s name here).

How often have you heard those words? Or something very similar? I know I’ve heard them—probably a million times over—in my twenty-nine years. I mean really. My first memory consists of an overheard conversation in the hospital nursery about the hot doctor boinking the naughty nurse. Can you believe it? They were doing it in the closet like they do on Grey’s Anatomy. Hmmm…maybe, that’s a stretch. But you get the picture. If not, let me know. I’ll hook you up with photos and charts a la screenshots.

Crap, I’m getting sidetracked. I blame it on my recent rerun of Grey’s Anatomy fetish. McDreamy, McSteamy, and McHottie are McYummy. They make me want to run toward the golden arches. Do you want fries with that? takes on a whole new meaning.

Hold on, you lost me…and my rumbling tummy. I’ll be back after a quick trip to the Mickey D’s.

Okay, okay. I’m back. I hope I didn’t take too long. That greasy food was calling my name. And who was I to not answer?

Now where was I? Oh yeah! Gossip. If we’re not sharing some juicy tidbits about a friend or a family member, we’re chattering about someone famous. And boy, those celebrities keep us yapping. They seriously know how to rock the rumors.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty and be real here, people love to talk about other people’s dirty laundry. They don’t want to clean it…they just want to air it. It’s in our nature. Seriously, there are dozens of magazines dedicated to gossip. Now I could say, “Oh! Well, I never read those magazines.” o“I would never, ever, ever in a million years believe something that didn’t come from the horse’s mouth.” But those would both be lies. When I stand in line at the grocery store, I look at those tawdry magazines filled with all sorts of crazy claims—some true and some…well, bold-faced lies. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones where aliens walk among us and Elvis is still alive and kicking it.

Generally, I just chuckle and think some snarky comment that I would rather eat snails than to speak aloud. But still, I read the cover. And often, I find myself wondering about the salacious stories inside them. I’m ashamed to admit it…But I want to know why Big Foot stole lingerie from Little Bo Peep. That would make one hell of a story. Even though I don’t crack open the tabloid, my mind still races at the possibilities.

So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Well, it all relates to the next book in my Sweet Serenity series. The three characters in Three Rings and a Rose—Ella Dawson, Caedon Asher, and Micah Blaylock—all have varying degrees of celebrity. Ella, the plus-size model, Caedon, the award-winning actor, and Micah, the bestselling author, aren’t able to escape the singe of scandal. They have to deal with swirling rumors and painful secrets in the public eye. Because of their struggle, I saw the other side of rumors, the darker side. I experienced the pain that the person being talked about experiences. And that got me thinking. Scary thought. I know.

Why do we as a society find pleasure in other people’s pain. Keep in mind, I don’t mean sadism, if that’s what your thinking. I mean that we get a kick out of hearing how Britney Spears showed her naughty bits in public and shaved her head in front of the clicking paparazzi. I mean that we whisper about homewreckers like Leann Rimes, Rachel Uchitel, and most recently Kristen Stewart. We murmur about men who can’t keep their pants zipped. Nope, I’m not just talking about Eddie Cibrian, Tiger Woods, and Rupert Sanders. I’m actually talking about PeeWee Herman showing his wee-wee in public. And that’s only naming a few scandals.

So, what about you? Have you faced rumors or scandals in your life? And if you have, how did you handle it? Please comment below, and you’ll be entered into a contest for $20 in Bookstrand bucks.

Love and cherries,

-Mia

 

Coming Friday, October 26, 2012

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Ella Dawson learned the hard way how much it hurt to be trapped in the middle of Micah Blaylock and Caedon Asher. The tension between the men drove her to the edge. Then a scandal destroyed her relationship with Caedon, shredding her heart and driving her back to Serenity, Kansas.

Two years later, Caedon still can’t forget Ella or Micah. When a worried friend’s meddling provides him with an opportunity to rekindle the relationships he lost, Caedon jumps in with both feet. But he knows he’ll need Micah’s help.

Secret desires and fears push Micah to refuse Caedon. However, Caedon won’t relent. When he finally convinces Ella and Micah to give sharing a shot, what happens when the two men’s love for each other can no longer be denied? And how will their relationship survive when scandal threatens to tear them apart once again?

It’ll take three rings and a rose to unite these would-be lovers, this time forever.

 

TO READ EXCERPT OR PRE-ORDER NOW, CLICK HERE

Categories: 69 Shade Of Smut, Books, Characters, Contest, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

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