Gag Gift–Rhonda Lee Carver

The holiday is over but the memories remain, especially the humiliation of a gag gift gone wrong.

It never fails, my best friend gives me a gag gift every Christmas. Last year it was fuzzy handcuffs, the year before penis pops. So, I decided if I couldn’t fight it, I’d try it. I wrapped my gifts, packed them up and joined her family for a Christmas get-together with all of her extended family. When it was time to open gifts we all sat around the livingroom and my friend handed out each person’s gift. I couldn’t wait for her mother to open the thick towels, and my friend to open her big surprise. I had even warned her to be prepared. Basking in my gift of, yet again, edible undies, I hear my friend say, “How prepared did I need to be for this?” I look up and she’s waving the expensive white towel in her hand–or rather, her mother’s gift.  I raced to figure out how the mix up happened. If my friend had the towels, that would mean her mother had…oh sh**!

Before I could react, her mother had her package open. “Look, dear, something I’m always glad to get.” She’s speaking to her husband whose smile faded and his eyes widened.

He told her, “Honey, did you read the package?”

Because she can barely see without her reading glasses, it took her a good twenty seconds to read the  details as everyone watched quietly. Her cheeks turned rosy and she smiled. “Chocolate penises.”

At this point, I was dying. I wanted the chair to engulf me.

Then something fabulous happened. She opened the package, took one out and bit into the chocolate. “So this is what they’re supposed to taste like.” Everyone burst out into laughter, my humiliation passed and we continued on.  I learned a valuable lesson…when wrapping presents be sure to glue nametags on securely so that they don’t fall off.

Smoke.Fire. Cowboy


Let’s talk cowboy…

I have a release coming January 27th. Smoke.Fire. Cowboy (Book 3, Cowboys of Nirvana) is up for pre-order. Here’s a little teaser to entice you…

“Come on, Jared. Tell me you don’t feel something between us. A mesmerizing draw, an emotion? If you say you don’t feel it, then I’m a bigger fool than I first believed.” Her deepest, darkest fears came to the surface. She hungered for him, but for more than just sex. She craved to have his arms wrapped around her, comforting her when times were tough. Hear sweet nothings whispered into her ear. She ached to feel his love encompassing her. Have him make love to her every night.

It was a fantasy. One that she wanted to turn into reality.

He moved closer, his face within inches of hers. “You’re going to be the death of me, sweetheart,” he whispered.

“That wouldn’t help either of us.”

“It definitely won’t hurt us either.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew something. He held up the item, dangling her bracelet from his forefinger.

“Where did you find that?”

“Under my bed. You must have dropped it.” He took her hand and laid it on his thigh as he placed the chain across her wrist, hooking it. “This…I haven’t seen the charm on here before.” He tapped the cowboy hat.

She nodded. “I found it while I was in town. Did you read the inscription?”

He swallowed. “I did.”

“I only attach charms to this bracelet that mean something to me.” She touched the chain. “Things that have made me who I am today.”

He blew out a long breath and his mouth came down on hers, hard and desperate. His tongue forced her lips open to allow him entrance. She obliged and wrapped her arms around his neck as he dipped in and out of the recesses of her mouth. Nerves awakened, new ones, and she wondered how that was possible. Oh, she knew exactly how. She’d crossed an invisible boundary within herself. She’d gone from wanting to screw Jared, to caring for him…and then falling in love. The knowledge sparked eagerness. She let her tongue glide along his, dueling, matching his need.

His hands threaded into her hair, tugging her face back to allow him deeper access. He pulled away and lowered his mouth to her neck, licking the sensitive skin, leaving a moist trail to the pulse in the dip at her neck. She succumbed to him, every fiber of her yielded to him. All links to her past were freed. She tangled her fingers into his hair, rolling them along his scalp, pulling him, determined to never let the moment end.

“Aww, baby, you taste so good—smell like a field of wildflowers after a heavy rain.”

“Yes! Keep doing that,” she whispered.

His fingers slid along her bare leg, higher to the apex of her thighs. He sucked in a deep breath. “My God, woman. Please never put on a pair of panties again.”

She chuckled. “I swear, I didn’t plan to have your hand up my dress tonight.”

“Where else would my hand be?” he muttered.


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Categories: Rhonda Lee Carver, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Gag Gift–Rhonda Lee Carver

  1. Therese lopez

    I love this Nirvana series so much!! I can’t wait to read this one. I have it pre-ordered and I’m so excited to read it.


  2. ekk52281

    OMG! That’s hilarious and totally something that would happen to me! Love the excerpt. Can’t wait to read Smoke, Fire, Cowboy!


  3. LOL, that was so funny. My grandmother used to crochet penis warmers as gag gifts, not that anyone tried them on I don’t think. She has been gone a long time now, but she had a very wicked sense of humor, lol. Oh man, I can’t wait to read Smoke, Fire, Cowboy!!


  4. OMG, soooo something I would do!

    Liked by 1 person

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