Assistant awakes me at 9:00. The harsh light of day is so inelegant, but one must sacrifice for one’s art. Bubble bath, reading reviews clipped by assistant. Breakfast — eggs Benedict, toast with the crusts removed, mimosa. Dress in satin and jewels. Sit on couch with Poochie to dictate new pages to assistant. Linger lovingly on the “hero’s purple arrow of love.”
This is more like reality.
Wake at 9:00. Curse self. Told myself I’d get up at 6:00 or 7:00. Bath, reading RT. Convinced everyone else in the world is doing better than I am. Dress in grubbies. Feed the stray cat that lives in the backyard. Check squashes for blossoms. Pollinate female flower with male flower– the most titillation I’ll get all day. Breakfast = coffee. Make bed, exactly half of all the housework I’ll do today.
Power up computer, read e-mail. More confirmation everyone else is doing better than I am. Check blog schedule. Groan. What to talk about again? Tweet. Check Facebook. Curse Pinterest because I can’t get my latest cover to upload. Tweet some more.
Check author page on Amazon. Add new book. Delete book about antique spittoons by someone with a similar name. Try to get the blog on author page to work…again. Search among FAQs for help and find none. Add tags for new book. Check rankings. Sigh. Check new 1 star review. Tweet about funny review.
Realize it’s after noon and I haven’t eaten. Decide on sandwich and find no bread. Go to grocery store. Mumble dialogue to self in soups aisle. Return home to find only cheese for sandwich. Make grilled cheese.
Take all electronics..netbook, Alpha Smart, cell phone, and Nook…outside to get some writing done. Feed cat. Realize garbage pickup is tomorrow. Haul garbage outside to bins and take to curb. Return to writing. Turn on Nook and play Angry Birds. Check time: 2:00 pm, and I haven’t written a word.
Pound frantically on Alpha Smart. Must do 1,666 words today. Try not to edit as I write. Pray I don’t include something like “hero’s purple arrow of love.”
4:00. Still 539 words to write. Get beer.
5:00 Finish beer and pages and go inside. Cat won’t let me back into the house unless I feed her. Go to computer and upload new pages. Read e-mail. Check rankings on new book. Proof positive everyone else is doing better than I am. Write plaintive e-mail to loops about “woe is me.” Tweet.
Go to make dinner. Discover dishes from last night. Wash dishes…the other half of the housework I’ll do today. Figure out what to make for dinner. Find only pasta and canned chili. Use chili as pasta sauce. Find more of the cheese. Grate same and put on top. Open bottle of wine.
Eat dinner. Settle in front of TV. Watch CSI: Miami. Or New York, who can tell? Or Milwaukee. Play Angry Birds. Give up on CSI and put old movie into DVD player. Fall asleep in front of TV.
Midnight. Get up, turn off DVD and TV. Go to bed.
BTW, folks. If you’d like a copy of my Regency romance, you can nominate it to be published by Kindle Scout. If the book wins, everyone who nominated it gets a free copy
Here’s the link https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/2Y0EYO26KDLV4
My blog http://alicegaines.blogspot.com