Showing up with Flash…Gordon, that is

You’ve got a Halloween date. Your guy shows up in a clown costume. You give him a once-over, wondering WTF you were thinking when you agreed to date this man. I mean, you’re not interested in running your fingers through his curly rainbow hair or reaching for his package in the car and squeaking his horn.

*click for sound effects*

So what does your guy’s Halloween costume really say about him? Here are a few common ones. Let’s analyze them, shall we?

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Clown–playful and carefree. A jokester. Or he has a darker, horror movie type personality. Be afraid. Or ask him to juggle his balls.

 

Male Stripper–if your man’s brave enough to dress as a male stripper, he’s either trying to show off his muscles or he’s poking fun at the muscles he doesn’t have. Maybe he has a paunch and embraces it. That’s a sexy thing! Roll with it. Maybe you can dress up as a lusty woman in the audience, complete with a margarita, smeared makeup, and a fistful of money.

 

Spiderman–he has a dual personality. He is Peter Parker. No, he is Spidey. This sounds like a good opportunity to push his limits in the bedroom, just sayin’.

 

Prisoner–In most cases he is being playful. When he is covered in single-needle tattoos that say COPS ARE PIGS and didn’t need to rent his costume, you should think about finding another date.

 

Baby–wearing diapers is never cool, even if your man is geriatric. Slam the door in his face.

 

Woman–I’m on the fence about this. I would laugh my ass off if my man showed up with jumbo boobies wearing pantyhose. However, if he preens a little too much, I would begin to question things. Of course, if you’re into that, Happy Halloween!

 

Ax Murderer–I loves me a lumberjack. Have you read BLOWN DOWN or UNTOUCHED? If he’s covered in real blood and acting shifty, call 911. For reals.

 

Disney Prince–Aladdin, Prince Charming, Prince Eric–these are all signs that your man has 1) mommy issues; 2)is possibly buzzed; 3)has old pictures of himself in this costume with his ex-girlfriend, who is the princess. Walk away, friends.

 

What is your favorite male costume? My spouse once dressed as the Uni-Bomber. What do you think that says about him? LOL

 

Thanks for reading!

Here’s a steamy excerpt from my upcoming 10-22 release ZERO TO LOVE!

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Description:

In a city where humans are the minority, a supernatural race called Mindchangers feed off human thoughts. Across an inky parking lot, Mindchanger Monroe sends his powers after his prey—university teaching assistant Magda Brunelli—and is unable to drink from her.

Disciplined Monroe refuses to wipe out important thoughts or memories from humankind, rendering him forever a starveling. He desperately wants to take from Magda but finds her mind has been emptied.

Groups of renegade Mindchangers known as Free Wills mill the streets, using their thought-consuming abilities to erase the minds of humans. Monroe is ordered to spy on the Free Wills, who are believed to be amassing an army with intentions of ruling the city. They also happen to be hunting for Magda.

When passionate and impulsive Magda throws herself into the underworld of the supernaturals—and into Monroe’s muscled arms—she learns that her past is shadowed by a dark family secret, and her future is a confusion of unwelcome sexual advances and renegade attacks. But in loving Monroe, she uncovers a hidden part of her that will change her life and the fate of the city.

Monroe claimed her mouth with an abruptness that stole her breath. The crush of lips wasn’t enough—would never be enough. She needed a bite, a sting. Was that how it would feel if he fed from her?

She wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging him down, down.

He slanted his mouth over hers and plunged his tongue deep. He tasted woodsy, like smoke and lust. Her nipples peaked and her pussy squeezed, releasing a flood of juices. The scrap of lace covering her sex dampened.

“More,” she whispered between gulping breaths.

He groaned. The rumble vibrated all the way to the marrow of her bones. Then he finally did it—sank his teeth into her lower lip and tugged until she quaked with a rush of desire.

Her head dropped back, and she reveled in the sensations he raised in her. His body, lean but muscled, aroused parts of her she didn’t know she had.

Her bare thighs against leather maddened her, and she wiggled.

“Fuck,” he grated out, rocking his erection against her ass. Lust raged through her body. Had she ever been so out of her head?

No. Only with him.

His smile stretched over her mouth as he obviously read her thought. He nipped her lips until she was gasping; then he bathed the hurts with his tongue. This was the harshest kiss she’d ever received—especially for a first kiss—and she hungered for more. More nipping bites on her breasts, belly, pussy.

He tore away, panting hard. Under her hands, his chest rose and fell.

She traced the sharp lines of his cheekbones, his straight nose, and his unsmiling mouth set into an angular jaw. “You’re hungry, and I can’t feed you.”

“You don’t want to go there anyway, Magda.” He grasped her upper arms and lifted her effortlessly, placing her back into the passenger seat. At the loss of his heat, goose bumps broke out over her, but the real ache was in her chest.

“I don’t want to go there, or you don’t?”

At her thought, he swung his gaze in her direction. In the darkness, piercing eyes glittered black instead of green. “Dammit, I don’t know what to do with you.”

Em Petrova
~hardworking heroes–in bed and out~
http://www.empetrova.com
http://www.hardworkingheroes.wordpress.com
http://www.wildandwickedcowboys.wordpress.com

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Showing up with Flash…Gordon, that is

  1. Hilarious costume blog.
    Love the cover of Zero To Love. This sounds really interesting!

    Like

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