Yes, there’s Halloween sex. Who knew? The guy I’m seeing right now subscribes to this men’s magazine. I tell him it’s the male version of Cosmo. He didn’t like that very much – but it is. They have all of these articles geared to guys to help them with their relationships, their clothing selections, trendy places to travel and eat… Hell, it may even be put out by the same company. Every time he comes home with a new brand name piece of clothing, I know I can check the advertisements in this publication and find out just where he learned of yet another thing he can’t seem to live without. Ha! In some ways men and women are a lot alike.
This month, there were several seasonal articles, but the one that caught his eye was the one which suggested new (not to me, after all I write smut) and inspirational positions to have sex. Well, last week – he brought me a cup of apple cider and asked me to choose which ones I’d like to try for the holiday. Now, the man knows I love Halloween. I go all out. I decorate. I dress up. I make homemade popcorn balls. I watch scary movies. When the kids come to the door, I try to scare them before I give them treats.
Not this year. This year I’m having Halloween sex. In fact, we’ve been trying out some positions to see which one might be the best one to celebrate All Hallows Eve. Of course, this is Sable we’re talking about here. So, nothing – and I mean nothing – happens without incident. Nothing goes smoothly. Nothing cums off like it should – I am cursed! And a klutz! But I do have a good time…
You should have seen me. I snatched the magazine from his hand and while he popped candy corn and swigged a yoo-hoo, I made a list. And these are the ones I chose and how it all played out! Let me share.
SEX POSITION NUMBER 1 – GHOST RIDER – What was funny was that Chris didn’t read the article, or at least not very closely. He looked at pictures, got all horny and pounced on me to make his dreams a reality. I do have a fun side, it’s not very wide, but it’s there. So, I prepared – with a grin on my face. I read the directions and set out to seduce him wearing a black shorty gown that plunged low in the front sans underwear. Oh, I went all out! I put music on the stereo, had remote in hand, set him on the couch, straddled him and went to work. He was loving it! I kissed and nibbled, stroked and petted. I pushed the gown down to my waist and let him have a Mounds treat. I played with his joy stick until he was ready to explode, then I did just as the magazine article suggested. With a flip of the switch, I put on the theme from Ghostbusters, draped my unsuspecting sweetheart in a sheet with eyeholes and proceeded to ride him till he almost fainted. All in all, it was a goodtime… except – I had forgot to shut the front door and just as soon as I desheeted him, I heard a rumble of amusement behind me. It was Chris’s friend Derek – he had caught the grand finale. Perv.
Our peeping Derek did not deter us from further experimentation.
SEX POSITION NUMBER 2 – BOBBIN FOR BOOBIES! Okay, I’m mean. I chose this one for two reasons. Number one. I have a breast fetish. Yea, I’m a girl, but I’m pretty well obsessed with breasts. I love to have my played with and sucked, so if there’s a choice and boobs are involved – you will have me enthusiastically on board. Second, I don’t have a bathtub. I have a monster shower with fourteen shower heads, but I’ve been missing a tub and he has a doozy at his place. One of those corner garden tubs with places for candles and little jets which tickle you in all the right places. Now with this one, I let my imagination run wild – all in the hopes I didn’t accidentally drown him. I filled the tub to the top, added some bubbly bath salts and spread out candles and candies all along the rim of the tub. Now, the idea was for him to bob for my bosoms sorta like for apples. So, I took one of his silk ties and bound his hands behind him and blindfolded him to boot. After helping him carefully into the tub, I settled down in front of him – – and my God! – – I must say this suggestion was sinfully enjoyable. He might have had no hands, but his mouth had unerring accuracy. Dang! He got into it – sucking and nibbling and rasping me with that day’s growth of beard. I came twice and begged for more – then he went diving and I lost my mind. All would have been well – but he has this cat… Now, you can’t blame me, I was incoherent with pleasure and didn’t see that furry feline petering around on the back of the tub. When the moment of ecstatic release came – I screamed – scared the cat – who knocked over the candles – which fell in the tub – which burned his butt – – hahahaha – well, you get the idea.
SEX POSITION 3 – SLEEPING BAT – Hahahahaha – just thinking about this makes me laugh. I’m going to have to write this one up in a book. The idea was supposed to be the girl hanging upside down in the shower over the bar and then mutual genital play should ensue. Now, here’s the problem – firstly, neither one of us has a shower bar. Our showers have these marble walls and glass doors and nobody is gonna hang from my glass doors on my shower cause I paid an ungodly amount of seven thousand dollars for them and I’m not going to warp them for an orgasm! However, Chris loves to work out and he has this inversion table where you stand and your feet are behind this bar, so when you are turned upside down, the bar keeps you in place and you are literally hanging there like a bat. Well, I’m shorter, so I volunteered to be ‘inverted’ for the sake of the sacred rite of 69.
Now, his workout stuff is not in the house, its in a man-cave out by his workshop, all the male chest-beating accessories are in one convenient locale. Here we go, traipsing out for the sake of yet another exotic, erotic experience. Now, remember, I’m a klutz. I don’t even try to deny it. I’m like Traveling Man, one of my cats. He can merely be walking on the bannister of my wrap-around porch and step off the side, ungracefully falling in a lump on the floor. That’s me. Well, we got nekkid. He helped me get into position and all the while he was chuckling and getting more and more aroused – danged near poked my eye out.
Well, there I hung. I will have to admit, I’ve never been upside down before – well, not on purpose anyway. And for a while, I got all excited. I mean – who wouldn’t? One of my downfalls – hahaha – in a situation like this is that I tend to lose concentration. When I’m being pleasured, I can’t keep my damn mind on my business! And the man is good! So good! Too good… I got all excited – wiggled around – moved my feet and fell off the crappin inversion table and right square on my pumpkin head! I yelped, and groaned and carried on till he helped me up, laid me across the hood of his pickup truck and gloriously finished the job! And later I returned the favor….
SEX POSITION 4 – – well, this is my choice for tomorrow night!! What do you think? Here’s the plan. THE SCARECROW – – Chris doesn’t know it yet. But here’s what I have. The idea is to tie the guy to the bed – hands outstretched like a scarecrow and then he isn’t supposed to react when I do wild and wicked stuff to his helpless, gorgeous body. I doubt he can remain still after I get all over him like white on rice, but we’ll see.
The kicker is, I’ve decided to take it a step further. I’ve got a black light, orange paint and I’m gonna doctor all of our good parts so I can tell where all the important stuff is supposed to go. But before that – while he’s all tied up with nowhere to go. I have this genie costume – yea, Dream of Jeanne – and I’m going to give him 3 wishes. I’ll let you know later what he picks!!
All, in all. I’d say this Halloween has already been fun. I wish you much happiness. And lots of TRICK OR TREATS!!!!