Guest Paloma Beck: Do We Consciously Decide our Sexual Preference?

Do we consciously decide our sexual preference? I saw a video recently where straight people were asked when they decided to be straight. Hey, it’s a question those in alternative lifestyles get all the time and it was amusing to watch the light bulb go off for these people. Check it out.

So, it got me thinking beyond just the gay/ non-gay worlds… what about all alternative lifestyles? Are we born with our predilections? You know – our kinks. I think we are. When I began plotting Hold My Hand, I found a poem I wrote in my high school Creative Writing class. At age sixteen, I had no idea the poem connected with a story I would later write. Heck, I’m not even sure I thoroughly understood what the poem meant. Now as a more mature woman, I read the poem and nodded… and nodded… and nodded some more. It all made sense now. I’d known all along what I needed. It was already there inside me. Did I decide it? Nope. I was just who I was.

I am who I am and you are who you are. We should be celebrating ourselves – our individuality, our uniqueness and those communities in which we belong.

TALK TO ME: Do you agree? Be sure to watch the video and then COMMENT below. I’ll give one ebook copy of Hold My Hand to one randomly selected COMMENTER.


Written by Paloma Beck, age 16

He reaches to Hold My Hand

And I walk into the unknown.

I cling to the possibility

As I escape into the forbidden.

He whispers Hold My Hand

And I lay myself before him.

I hunger for his offering

As I soar to new heights.

He reaches to Hold My Hand

And I am touched by grace.

I am set free through my bonds

As I reach to Hold his Hand.


paloma cover hold my hand final

Hold My Hand

Author: Paloma Beck

Series: Heart And Soul, Book 1

Genre: Erotic Contemporary Romance

Elements: BDSM-lite, Consensual Adult Spanking

Release Date: April 1, 2013





Hold My Hand is an erotic contemporary BDSM-lite romance about Aubrey, a young woman filled with hurt, and William, a man who can’t walk away. They’re navigating through a relationship that may have too many hurdles… or perhaps not, as long as she can hold his hand.

Hold My Hand hints at the heroine’s childhood experiences of emotional abuse. Aubrey has been hurt in the past, discouraged and degraded by a heartless father. Still, William sees something in her that won’t allow him to walk away. Instantly drawn to her but intuitive enough to take it slowly, he courts her. Then he bargains, persuades and seduces until he ensnares Aubrey with his commanding nature.

Hold My Hand introduces the heroine to domestic discipline. Despite the fight she puts up in accepting William’s lifestyle, the bonds he places on Aubrey give her a freedom she desperately needs. In this most unlikely way, together, they heal old wounds and find their perfect love.

Enjoy an EXCERPT ©Paloma Beck, 2013

“Stop right there, little elf, before our fun afternoon turns into a session in obedience. Do not belittle yourself. No more of that,” William held my chin as he spoke. He knew as well as I did that I would’ve ducked my head at the reprimand. He kissed me lightly before whispering, “You’re perfect to me.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t help my response. It was so ingrained in me that I was unworthy that accepting his words as truth was near impossible. William squeezed my jaw enough to be uncomfortable. “Repeat after me,” he said. “I am perfect.”

I pulled back, hoping he’d let me go and knowing at the same time it wasn’t likely. “I can’t.” Tears began to pool in my eyes and I blinked to hold them back.

“I’m going to hold your hand every step of the way until you realize just how perfect you are,” William breathed the words into my ear as one hand remained on my chin while the other stroked my hair. “Now, repeat it. I am perfect.”

The pause was too long and I heard William growl so I whispered, “I am prefect.”

“You are perfect,” he said as he looked into my eyes, “Say it again.”

“I am perfect,” I whispered again, uncomfortable and fidgeting with my hands.

“Louder,” William commanded. His voice wrought with the tone of a man with whom you shouldn’t argue.

“I am perfect,” I said with an indoor voice my kindergarten teacher would approve of.

“You are perfect. Now louder still.”

“Will…” he shook his head and my words immediately stopped.

“Repeat the words, Aubrey, just the words. We’re going to do this until you believe them.”

“I won…” again, he cut my words off with the shake of his head and a stern look.

Tears blurred my sight as I continued to blink them away but succeeded only in pushing them down my cheeks. Once they began to fall, I couldn’t seem to stop them. I wanted so badly to stop them before he became angry with me. I kept my gaze averted. I looked at my feet, afraid of the sight of William mad.

“Look at me,” William used his thumb to pull my chin up again. “Look. At. Me.” His sternly spoken words set me on edge but I followed his command. When my eyes met his, I saw something I couldn’t comprehend. I saw sympathy. I saw understanding. I saw hope. He wasn’t angry but he watched me carefully.

Then he smiled at my surprise.

“I’m not angry with your tears. They’re beautiful to me. But right now, we’re working at you acknowledging that beauty. Repeat after to me. I am perfect.”

I swallowed and when I spoke, my voice was scratchy but audible. “I am perfect.”

William leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “Again, sweet Aubrey.”

“I am perfect.”




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THE NEXT BOOK in the series… Touch My Heart… is expected to be released in October 2013.

paloma cover touchmyheart large

About Paloma

palomaPaloma Beck is a Romance Author living a life of contradiction… she’s a happily married carpooling mom writing erotic romance. It’s almost naughty! Paloma writes in both the Contemporary and Paranormal realms, journaling the stories her characters tell her, and they are anything but PG. She dabbles in vampires, witches, ménage, spanking and bdsm – all in her books, of course. Paloma believes a daily dose of espresso and a good book make any day better.

Connect with Paloma









Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 14 Comments

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14 thoughts on “Guest Paloma Beck: Do We Consciously Decide our Sexual Preference?

  1. Tina

    I love that video because it is a great question, one I have used many times on judgmental people. I also believe people are who they are and either you embrace it and enjoy life or you let all of the “noise” get to them and try to be a diff person.

    I am looking forward to the day everyone can express themselves without public judgement ❤


  2. That’s a good question. I have several friends who believe that people choose to be gay and that they can change. I’ve always been of the opinion that you love who you love, gender or race doesn’t matter. Got that attitude from my mom. People are just people. I’ll be using this question in the future and it’ll be interesting to hear their responses.


    • PalomaBeck

      I love to ask this question. It’s the one that stumps the more close-minded people the most. And i love seeing their faces as they process it. ;0


  3. mathlady68

    I love the video. The last women is so organic and honest. I think people have always heard that being gay is a choice that they have never stopped to think about how stupid that is. I know people can choose how the live but their sexuality is a part of them, not a choice. It makes me sad when I hear about someone who tried to live straight to seem “normal” only to finally have to live their truth but that leads to them loosing friends and family. Thanks for sharing the video. jepebATverizonDOTnet


    • PalomaBeck

      And we see the same stereotype across the sexual rainbow. If your lifestyle isn’t “mainstream”, its considered wrong by too many people. Then you spend so much of your life in a closet. It’s crazy to me.


  4. I love that video and have shared it before. It really makes some people stop and think and seeing the light dawn on their faces is truly remarkable.


  5. lisagk

    Very enlightening video. I am very impressed with the whole idea and those that envisioned both the concept and the final product. Thanks for sharing.


  6. Kristy

    I love a video that can make you think. I’d never quite thought of it in that light before. Thank you for sharing it.


    • PalomaBeck

      That’s exactly my reaction the first time I saw it too, Kristy. Thanks for leaving a comment, 🙂


  7. reneeroseauthor

    Yep, my gay friend likened my “coming out” as a kinkster to his coming out and the Gay Pride movement and I realized they are the same… I was definitely born this way. 🙂


  8. A great video! People don’t think about their heterosexuality until they have the question turned around on them. I don’t think I ever thought being gay was a choice. But hiding who we are in order to fit in is definitely a choice. I’m glad to see that people are finally learning to let their real selves out. And I don’t mean that just for gay people, but for anyone who has a secret person inside that they’re afraid they’ll be vilified for if anyone knows.


  9. I think we are born to be who we are. I had really kinky dreams when I was a little kid – things I never ‘should’ have consciously thought about if it was all about ‘adapting’ to what is around us. I think there are kinks we may grow into – such as you already are into this, this, and this, but you never heard about ‘that’ before but the moment you hear about it it intrigues you. Does this mean you were born to that kink?

    I saw a video where a guy asked straight men what ‘actions’ were gay – and then turned the question around on them like with this video,. I think it is a good way to get people to think. Will it change their minds? Depends on how open they are to new ideas.


  10. Hehee, I love that video.
    Funnily enough I was thinking about exactly this the other day. Is it hard-wired in from the start? What other personal ‘choices’ are there which people might assume you’ve actual made when in fact, it’s just what’s in you. I’ve no idea yet, but I like the way it makes me think.


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