Good Sports ;)

So, March is over and I have the lucky date of giving you a post on April Fool’s!  My mom was always doing silly things on April Fool’s and I’ll miss that this year. But on we go, right?

I’ve been trying to think what to do for April Fool’s on the blog but I have nothing. Sorry. But I’m still going to give you something yummylicious to contemplate, to drool over, to die for….to crave. Apple pie! Hah, got ya. Yep, my apple pie recipe. I made two over this Easter weekend. One for my dad’s 90th birthday and one for Easter Dinner. I hope you enjoy it and aren’t too upset with only getting a pie recipe. However, I do encourage you to hang around just a little bit longer after the pie.

Apple Pie

1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie

1/2 cup unsalted butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

8 apples – peeled, cored and sliced

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
  2. Have a two crust pastry ready. Either your home made or store bought. If you want to get fancy, have lattice work ready.
  3. Melt the butter in a saucepan. Stir in flour to form a paste then add water and sugars. If you want to put a dash of cinnamon in it, sprinkle into the mixture
  4. Bring to a boil, stirring. Reduce temperature and let simmer a minute or two.
  5. Fill bottom crust with apples, mounded slightly.
  6. Either  1 – Cover with a lattice work crust and gently pour sugar mixture over the crust. OR  2 – pour it over the apples and add top crust. Careful the mixture doesn’t run off.
  7. Brush top crust with egg white wash.
  8. Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Continue baking for 35 to 45 minutes, until apples are soft and crust is golden.

Are you still here?

Because, I am going to give you some smut too! Oh yeah, what’s a blog without smut right? So here you go, a little bit of spoofy, smuty, smexy fun. Have you heard of the Fondled and Gobbled books? Well, I’m proud to be in the second volume with my story Keep ’em Coming. A great group of authors that I have the pleasure to be a member of wrote these great books. We’re the Cabal of Hotness and plan to corrupt the world, one reader at at time. So get corrupted already! Three more books are coming out over the next little while. But for now, here’s a little bit about the first two.

Fondled and Gobbled: Someone Had to Do It

The perfect man—with the imperfect cock and oral skills. The Dom who isn’t a dom, and the man who proves it to him. The alien with dessert-flavored semen and three cocks. The older man (a kajillionaire with a penthouse in Seattle…) who has limitless ability to come all night with his naïve little virgin. goingbackforseconds_msrA woman on a diet who craves a feast of meat and finds herself five Broadshaft Brothers who can deliver.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back for Seconds

The virgin whose carefully planned hymen removal doesn’t work out the way all the romance novels told her it would. A busty broad doing what she can to get over her penis anxiety—assisted by a cadre of male strippers. A not-so-bright (and not so “big”) alien who comes to claim his life mate, and the Earth girl who wants to be claimed at all costs. A cursed, mute shapeshifter who needs to pop his cherry with his unsuspecting fated mate.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

Excerpt from Keep ’em Coming

She was hornier than a two-peckered toad watching these hotties strip, bump and grind onstage all night. Now she was going to be up close and personal. See those penises full on and hopefully the banana hammock would fall off. Ravyn stumbled up the stage steps, her toe catching on the lip. She tried to catch herself before catapulting onto her belly. Fuck she was clumsy! She hit the stage like a train wreck. Arms flung out in front, sliding down the runway into Mack’s legs, nearly knocking him off his feet.

Rolling onto her back, she looked up at him. Past the muscular thighs, and zeroed in on his bulging package that loomed over her. She licked her lips and lay there like a dumb ass.

Coming Soon!

fandgonemoreslurp_msr

fandgmessierthanever_msr

fandgbackformore_msr

Now since you’ve all been such good sports for my spoofiness on April Fool’s. Here’s some REAL eye candy. Ellora’s Cave Cavemen.

cavemen not fuzzy

You can find me at:

www.cristalryder.com

https://twitter.com/#!/CristalRyder

The Cabal of Hotness

https://www.facebook.com/cristal.ryderauthor

Ellora’s Cave

All Romance ebooks

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Goodreads

Sybarite Seductions

Lyrical Press

Categories: Guest Post, Life, New Release | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Good Sports ;)

  1. tdhassett

    Thanks for the April Fool’s Day laugh!

    Like

  2. Some tasty treats in this post Cristal and I am not talking the Apple Pie

    Like

  3. LOL, Nice to see you’ve been temped Hockeyvamp.

    Like

  4. What delicious treats, and Apple Pie is pretty good too. 😉

    Like

  5. yum yum yum! Needed an appetizer!! Thanks Crystal!!!

    Like

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