You Might Be A Pervert If…

Happy Sunday, 69ers! It’s that time again…time to play with me. “You Might Be a Pervert If,” that is. So let’s get right up on that pervert stick and play. Why yes, you might be a pervert if you thought dirty thoughts about what I just said. Wink, wink.

  • You might be a pervert if…a friend of yours went horseback riding and then told you that she “was only riding an hour before her ass started to hurt.” And you think, “What was his name?”
  • You might be a pervert if…you and your friends made up an alternative adult alphabet. (Think – ‘A is for Anal’ rather than “A is for Apple’)
  • You might be a pervert if…you open your e-mail and have five or more catalogs from adult stores.
  • You might be a pervert if…you can name the majority of the porn stars in the adult video store.
  • You might be a pervert if…you walk into a house with a realtor and think to yourself, “Wow, this would make a great room for a porn scene.” Or even better, you walk into a house and ask the realtor, “Wow, was this the house in the porn flick Riding the Rails? It looks awfully familiar.
  • You might be a pervert if…you walk into a friend’s basement and think, “You know, a St. Andrew’s Cross would set off that corner perfectly.” (Hmm, Wonder if Vern Yip would be willing….Oh! That brings me to the next one.)
  • You might be a pervert if…you have written in to HGTV for help with building the perfect dungeon.
  • You might be a pervert if…you went to an autograph signing at an adult store. (I was so bummed when I missed that event.)
  • You might be a pervert if…you look for one of the following “board” games in a chain store: Gay or Straight; Boxers, Briefs, or Commando; Top or Bottom.
  • You might be a pervert if…you know of at least three things to do with ginger that involves your body, and only one of them can include ingestion.
  • You might be a pervert if…you see red and blue lights behind you and think to yourself, “God, I hope he has his handcuffs out.”
  • You might be a pervert if…you see a state trooper and think of the song “You Can Leave Your Hat On.”
  • You might be a pervert if…you read or hear the word ‘violet’ and think of a wand.
  • You might be a pervert if…you watch Pirates of the Caribbean and fantasize about Johnny and Orlando in a major lip lock. (Preferably on a bed without a stitch of clothes. Um, where was I?)
  • You might be a pervert if…you go to get your oil changed and giggle when the hot mechanic asks you if you want a lube job. (No one would blame you if you said yes…)
  • You might be a pervert if…you see a group of three people and immediately think to yourself, “Wonder if they’re in a ménage?”
  • You might be a pervert if…you request extra studs in your ceiling when you’re building your house. (Safety first. Sturdiness is essential when hanging a sex swing).
  • You might be a pervert if…you pervert a stuffed animal at Build-A-Bear (Think Bondage Bear, baby!).
  • You might be a pervert if…you have to call the firemen to get handcuffs cut off. (That is an awfully convenient – I mean good – reason for a visit from the fine firemen of Fire House 69)
  • You might be a pervert if…you married a sailor only because he is good with knots. (And he looks rather dishy in his uniform, too!)
  • You might be a pervert if…your hottie closet is bigger than your actual closet.
  • You might be a pervert if…you are actually reading this blog!

So are you a pervert? Goodness knows that I am. And let me tell you, I wear the badge proudly. I hope you do, too!

XOXOXO,

-Mia

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 30 Comments

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30 thoughts on “You Might Be A Pervert If…

  1. So is there a support group if you have to say yes to more than half of these? If so, sign me up. LOL

    Like

  2. June M.

    Loved this!

    Like

    • Mia Ashlinn

      I am so glad that you enjoyed, June M. This is one of my absolute favorite game to play. I keep lists of these things…Wait, does that sound bad? LOL. Maybe it should add, “You might be a pervert if…you have so many of these sayings that you had to start a document just to keep them together. 🙂

      Like

  3. Lisa

    Ok that was a great way to start my morning….I had a giggle reading those and thinking wow I have thought about some of those….teeheehee

    Like

    • Mia Ashlinn

      Aw, Lisa! You’re a perv…I mean that in the most loving way! Glad to start you off to what will be a dynamite day! 🙂

      Like

  4. Dawn

    Mia, that was fantastic! 🙂

    Like

    • Mia Ashlinn

      Thanks Dawn! I had soooo much fun with them. Okay,I have a little too much fun, if that’s possible. LOL.

      Like

  5. LOL! Awesome, Mia!!

    Like

  6. Elizabeth

    So awesome. I think I qualify for a couple of those.

    Like

    • Mia Ashlinn

      Hehehe. Only a couple? *winks* I might qualify for one or two…or ten. After all, great minds do think alike…that goes for pervy ones, too! 🙂

      Like

  7. myreadingobsession

    Here I am thinking I wonder if I can add the extra studs to the ceiling after the fact lol!

    Like

  8. Well…it’s official…I am definitely a pervert!

    Like

  9. Wow, I totally belong to this group and you have also given me more ideas to feed my perverted mind. Thanks Mia xxxxx

    Like

  10. I was thinking…”if you’ve convinced your in laws that the swing in the corner is really a plant holder”.

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  11. I go away a couple of days and look at all the good stuff I miss. 🙂 Loved the post and after reading it well I’m a perv too. 🙂

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  12. Look at all the lovely per…people here, you are so bad! I love it!! 😉

    Like

  13. LOL! Love it!

    *hugs*
    Paige

    Like

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