Recently I started thinking about what would happen if my hard drive was confiscated by the FBI. That mysterious little group would have one hell of a fun time looking at what I do! Everything—okay, almost everything—I look at is for the good of the writing craft.
Strange research topics top the list of what I browse for. Here’s a little sampling of some of the bizarre things I’ve searched for in the past two months:
1. What did a whore cost in 1870’s Texas?
2. Famous arson names
3. Analingus techniques
4. Banana pictures
5. Mantel vs. mantle (b/c I can never remember which is a cloak and which is the one you make love in front of)
6. Hunky cowboy pictures
7. Chemicals used to start fires
8. The Fray lyrics
9. Sexy stilettos
10. Entertainment for kids in summer
11. Quotes about love
12. Swedish boy and girl names
13. Same Sex curiosity
14. Middle Eastern names
15. Jack-off buddy
16. Slave pictures
17. Leopard coats
18. Fantastic-ebooks, because they pirated my stories and I had to threaten them with legal action, so don’t ever purchase anything from them please!
19. “If I Were a Boy” by Beyonce on youtube, as sung by Nellie from the Glee Project
20. Pawsitive Image grooming (for Daisy Hasselhoff, my Labradoodle puppy)
21. Vaginal tattooing
22. Lingerie in Old West
23. How to hold a sword
24. Would someone die if shot in the … (insert body part)
25. Dom terms
That is just the beginning of my browsing history. This barely skims the number of trips to Tumblr I make, or the visits to video sites for a little inspiration. *grin* These searches involve everything from masturbation to shackles.
Then there are times I’m searching for coloring pages for my kids, and I’ve gone through about ten pages of “lemur pictures”. So what do you think the FBI would think of me? Would they cart me away, screaming and kicking that I’m just an erotic romance author and mother of four?
Here’s a little contest for you. Come up with a name for my “illness” or “crime”, and I’ll choose the best one in my opinion. Winner gets her choice of title from my backlist! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!
~where words mean so much more~