WTF Question of the Day

Benjamin T. Russell

Hello Fellow Smut Lovers, I’m Benjamin Russell – Author & Provocateur and I’m your host today at 69 Shades of Smut. I want to thank you for stopping by and visiting our Blog. I’ve gotta a feeling – that today is gonna be a good, good day, so let us rejoice and be glad in it. By the way, if you haven’t already done so, you can LIKE me on Facebook by clicking in the embedded link in my name.

Today I was supposed to do an interview with one of the characters from my book, but my muse Jezebel, decided she wanted to do something else. Jez and I have this very interesting relationship, when she speaks – I actually listen. You can learn more about Jezebel by clicking on the embedded link in her name. Anyway, we decided to flip the planned script for today and post a WTF Question of The Day. Have you ever had one of those WTF moments, when you just couldn’t come up with a suitable answer to an annoying question?

Well I need feedback from you our Smutty friends; to help me answer today’s WTF Question of The Day – Would you actually take back someone from your past, a former lover, significant other, whatever?

Yes, undoubtedly this happens multiple times a day, maybe even hundreds of times a day, all around the world, 365 days/year, but should it?

For real, is this true, do we all have that one person in our past – who we’d take back in a second, no matter how bad they hurt us? Oh My God – could that be true for me too? WTF – maybe?

Ok, I saw this picture/quote making the rounds on FaceBook and damn – it jumped up and smacked me in the head. I left a comment on the page of the person who shared it, but then it occurred to Jezebel and I that it might be a good blog topic. So, I’m going to throw some thoughts and/or opinions up in the air on this subject and then I invite you to shoot holes in anything I’ve said and/or just answer the question for yourself.

Well, I’ve always believed that Ex’s are Ex’s for a reason. That’s why my initial reaction to the WTF question was hell no. However, after a long talk with Jezebel and two bottles of Moscato, I’ve concluded that there ‘might’ be one someone I’d consider taking back – Suzana.

OMG, I was so crazy about Suzana I would have drank her bath water. Yep, that’s how smitten I was with her. I ‘thought’ she was my long lost Imzadi – The One. Notice the emphasis on the word ‘thought’.

Suzana and I had such great chemistry; we just clicked – in and out of bed. In bed we rocked, out of bed we rolled – it was the closest thing to heaven on Earth I could ever imagine.  So, what happened to this match made in Heaven?  Crap, that’s a damn good question and after all this time, I’m still not sure I have an answer. A dear friend told me recently that I’m multi layered, hard to love and easy to love all at the same time. I think she was trying to say I have issues. Jezebel, stop laughing.

Bottom-line, it didn’t work out for Suzana and I – she left me. She broke my heart into teeny-tiny pieces and she never looked back. She said it was too painful for her to stay in contact with me – she loved me too much. WTF? She stopped returning my calls, my emails, my texts and she even sent back the birthday card I mailed her. WTF? She cut off all communications with me as if I was a leper. *Sighs* – It hurt like hell.

However, what if the Universe gave Suzana and I a second chance; would I do it – would I take her back? WTF, I don’t know?

Well actually, I do know the answer, but I want to hear what you have to say. What would you do? How would you answer the WTF Question if The Universe gave you a second chance with someone from your past?

Ok Smut Lovers – please leave your comments and help me answer the WTF Question.

Oh, I almost forgot to promo my book. I have a book out that I co-authored with the lovely Sherry Palmer, a.k.a. Michelle Chatton. You can click on the embedded link in Sherry’s name to check out her blog.

The name of our book is – The Booty Call. The following is the book’s blurb and the buy link on Amazon –

So what is a strong-willed, Bi-BBW supposed to do when she decides she wants to have a MMF ménage to celebrate her birthday? She makes a Booty Call to her bi-sexual male co-worker and her hot Dom ex-lover. Victoria Carter has finally broken free from a destructive relationship, now she wants to explore her sensuality and her sexuality to the fullest. Ready to meet the world head on, this is just the beginning of her sexual adventures.


Ok Smut Lovers, thanks again for stopping by and As Always, We Thank You for Your Support.  Please be sure to LIKE our 69 Shades of Smut Fan page on FaceBook. Just click on the embedded link in the name 69 Shades of Smut

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21 thoughts on “WTF Question of the Day

  1. At this stage in my life I think I can honestly say that no, there isn’t an ex that I would take back again. I could be wrong if I was actually faced with the situation, but I really don’t think so. I’m older now and I’ve changed a lot.


    • Michelle, thanks for leaving a comment. The topic of Ex’s is such an interesting one and I can think of a few more WTF questions about Ex’s. Ok, so you are ‘NO’ number 1.


  2. My initial reaction is FUCK no. If they are in your past — they belong there.

    But now? I’m thinking there could be a few caveats. Sometimes circumstances dictate our actions, even though we don’t want the outcome.

    Personally, I don’t have anyone in my past I would take back.


    • ER, thanks for your comment, now I’ve got to decide if that was a yes or a no. Hmm, I think I’m going to put your answer in the no column. That makes ‘NO’ number 2


  3. There is one man who was my heart and I was THAT woman who pushed him away. In hind sight I know now he was something special but you live and you learn and as you grow and change you find others who truly spark you and remind you how much you want. Fortunately there are many beautiful people in the sea of love. I’m so so so glad there are.


    • Oh Gosh BeHalle, now that’s a seriously cryptic answer. Hmm, I’ve consulted with our panel of judges and they’ve decided that your answer belongs in the yes column. You are ‘YES’ number 1.


  4. I think most of us have this one person in our lives who turned our world upside down. We get so blinded at the time that we can’t see anything except the little bubble we are in. Once the bubble bursts we open our eyes and see the things we have missed. I had someone in my life who I would’ve walked to the ends of the earth and loved him dearly. He knew that and used it against me. So if I had the chance to go back and try again would I? No…not now, not ever. He didn’t deserve me then and wouldn’t deserve me now. One learns from the challenges we face with matters of the heart. History is not always meant to be repeated. Especially if it was not good enough to survive.


  5. Randi Alexander

    Oh, yes, my high school sweetheart. He was a year older and joined the Army after he graduated. He came back after boot camp and said he’d think about marrying me if I lost some weight. I’m tall and have big bones! I was not heavy. He was just looking for an excuse to break up with me. But, I still think about him too often, and I creep him on Facebook. LOL I’d love to see him again, but I’ve found the man for me, so I’d never take him back.


  6. Jade Baiser

    Actually, yes… There’s one person I would take back in a heart beat. I’m very constant in my life and in my love. When I love someone, no matter what happens, I still love them, even when it’s over. I’m not talking about a big crush, but deep love, the one they say you can have only once in your life (no need to tell you that it’s a lie! I’m the living proof of that!). I don’t fall in love easily either. Don’t think that I love every guy I had a relation with. No, I love my husband, but before him, I loved someone else (still do obviously) and we didn’t even date. It was only platonic. But the love was true. And if he calls me tomorrow, I would have a hard time saying no. I still think about him once in awhile, even if we didn’t see each other or talk in nearly three decades.
    So to answer your question…YES!


  7. No. There isn’t an ex I’d take back. Like you said dear they are an EX for a reason… I put up with ALOT of shit (I’m that stubborn ass “I can fix this, I can fix it on my own” dumbass that stays too long anyways) so no… even if they RADICALLY changed–not that I think they can change enough to where I’d even try it. There WAS a guy that I wanted bad (I was in the process of leaving the guy I was with–so I didn’t act as TO ME that’d still be cheating) & it was mutual, (he was also in the process of leaving his girl) but then he got dealt some bad blows and had to move an hour away… if I have any relationship regrets it ‘might’ be that I didn’t try harder to keep in contact with Geoff… I’ve NEVER had that kind of chemistry with anyone in my entire life!!


  8. kalimaddox

    Before I really answer the question, here are my personality quirks that cause problems with my past being laid to rest. When I love someone, I love them for the many facets of themselves – be it a romantic, sexual, or even platonic relationship. Even when things are bad between us I have a hard time leaving, because I still remember the things that made me love that person. The times we shared that made them so important in my life, and the ways that they made me feel incredible, sexy, smart, funny, loved…..Happy. Once I reach the point that I have suffered emotionally, or even in one case physically, so severely that I have no choice left but to make them leave, it crushes me. It destroys me for months, sometimes years. I have been *in love* 3 times in my life, and still today I love them. I ache sometimes when I think of the things that happened between us, how things could have been, and how happy I could have been at this point in my life….If Only. I am not one who can love someone on that deep a level and let it go. Once they are that completely under my defenses and that deeply in my heart, they will remain there forever. I worry about their welfare, their happiness…I want nothing but the best for them – even when they have torn me to shreds, and left me scarred in one way or another. Remarkably, I have maintained friendships with about 80% of the men I have been with, and that usually goes a long way towards helping me heal or move on.

    Masochistic much??! Yes. Yes I am.

    As for the answer to this question, as I’ve said, once I love them I love them forever. They have had to push me to a level where they have shattered me before I can leave. But in all honesty, I would take back my most recent ex. I’ve never felt anything close to what I felt/feel for him before. He was by far, and in many ways, the best man I’ve ever had in my life. Unfortunately, when he broke me it was so traumatic and painful that I still find myself digging out of the hole I fell into when I had to make him leave. We are still in contact, but it kills me..I want him home. I want him to get over his immaturity, selfishness and ‘playboy’ ways and be the MAN that he is without those things. We’ve been apart now for a little over two years, but I still love him so much. He still invades my dreams and thoughts without my bidding. *Sighs* It has gotten a lot better than it was…it’s been really hard, but I’m certain of one thing: If I took him back we would still have the same problems we had, because he still wants to be the party boy, the clown, the badass, the player. He still thinks those things are necessary to be viewed as ‘The Man’. It was the root to all of our problems before, and it would be again (Even though he is in his mid thirties).
    There is another man..The circumstances of our relationship were not the best, but we love eachother. We have for a decade. Again, things would have to be different for it to work between us. We’ve been so close to bliss on a few occasions, but for one reason or another the timing wasn’t right. I still love him very deeply, and he me, and we are still very close…it just hasn’t worked in our favor.
    So – Yes. *IF* some things/circumstances were different I’d be delirious with happiness to have a happy, intimate, and satisfying *life* with either one of them (the first man I spoke of would be the first pick :-P)

    Whew!! Sorry about the novel..This isn’t a briefly answerable subject for me. Lol! Thank you for humoring me 😛

    Kali Maddox XO


    • Wow, Kali…that was a realyl deep reply. I want to hug you, for opening your heart to others like that. Such a beautiful reply, and it must have been hard for you to let go. You’re an amazing person.


  9. I’d have to say no. There’s no man I’d take back knowing myself the way I do now. At the time, it sure as hell hurt losing a couple of those guys. I thought I was in love, of course. Actually, I was in love. But I realize I wouldn’t trade the man I’ve got for any of them.


  10. leisa

    I really wish I had someone I would like to have back…but I don’t have anyone I would like a do over with….someone new yes!!!!!


  11. There isn’t an EX I’d consider taking back, but I’ve found myself wondering more about this question in terms of friendships that went sour for whatever reason. I can think of one I messed up and I sometimes reminisce about the close bond shared. All relationships that matter involve the heart to some degree and when those fall apart for whatever reason, I think it’s important to look at the core of the relationship that’s become an EX-relationship. I tend to ask myself these questions and more: Was the relationship genuine? Was the relationship good for you? Did this person add something of value to your life? In the end, your heart I believe knows instinctively which relationships should be given a second chance and which ones should remain in the EX category.

    Thought provoking post, Benjamin! 🙂


  12. leann

    Hi, Mr. Benjamin! 🙂 I’ve gotta say no, I wouldn’t take any of them back. I have had 4 relationships I felt were “IT” & I’ve come to think of them as….first love, soul love, romantic love & danger love. I’m still in contact with three out of the four & we’re somewhat friends. As all of us have grown in time, I believe that we’d want the person we knew, not the people we are today. If I could go back, yes I would try to change things but in reaity we are who we are because of the past There were some good times back then, also some bad or I’d still be with one of them. lol Thanks!


  13. Well, I am going to go against the masses and say yes. I have an ex that I would take back in a heartbeat…leave my current life for and run away with. When we were together it was amazing and what split us up was neither his fault nor mine, just circumstances. I fell in love with him when I was 16 and I’ve been in love with him ever since. Our paths have crossed over the years and that “butterflies in the tummy, hard to catch your breath, tingles up and down your spine” feeling is always there. If the Universe ever presented us with a chance to be together again, I would run to him and never look back.


  14. Benji, this is a toughy. I thought I was in love once. This man was my whole world and I think because of that he was able to hurt me so damn badly I thought I’d never be in one piece again. We went our separate ways for a while but a year later he came back begging for forgiveness…and I gave it to him. I loved him enough that I was willing to take him back, knowing it could end very badly for us again…and it did. He was the one in my past that I had the choice to take back and try again and the bastard betrayed my trust…AGAIN! I could quite happily tell you right now that I will never give him another chance. Second chances for me are just proof of why you never worked out the first time.
    If the universe truly wanted you to be with Suzana, you would be. You would have fought harder to keep her, and she would have fought harder to stay.
    Great WTF question. 😀


  15. There is only one man I’d ever take back….but as yet….I am unable to raise the dead, so he has to stay in my past.

    There’ll never be another like him – and yes, he really broke my heart. Does that make me a weak woman for admitting as much? I don’t think so. You learn to spot a liar by their behaviour and the subtle things they don’t do for you. Forgiveness is grand, and yes, he lied to me – a lot!

    Did I love him? You betcha! Why? Because, even though I knew he was lying to me, and he had his reasons, he was the best mate and lover I had ever known! His lies came from his insecurity over such a long dong, but if I could bring him back, there would be one condition – no more lies!

    Great WTF Q. Certainly opened an old wound. Now I know that I am not over him. Damn him! Damn him! Damn him!


  16. Kay

    This is a great question Benji…A question that will have you searching your heart and soul for many days to come.

    In regards to Susana and yourself, if she came back and begged for a second chance and I was you…my first step would be to understand what happened the first time that caused her to leave. How could she have left you when there was so much love there? I would have to have an in depth understanding of those answers from her before I could even entertain the possibility of being back together. Step two what makes her think it would not happen again? I would have to know that I know what she says is true and that it would not be a possibility of happening again. Step three we would need to take the time to get to know each other again. She has changed over the years just as you have..the connection you had then does it still exist? If I received all positive feed back and found myself still drawn to her…that she caused my heart and soul to respond closer than we were before..connected in the here and now not just past..then I would give it another shot…oh and one more thing I would require of myself…I would have to forgive her and she and I would have to work past the insecurities that our first relationship left behind…and that is some hard work but it would be so worth it in the end.

    On a personal note for me. Once someone has hurt me that deeply…it is hard for me to forgive but I eventually do..but working past the insecurties is a different story….like I said lots of hard work but in the end so worth it. Then he would have to convince me it would be worth giving it a second chance. Usually once the door is closed with me…it doe not open back up again …ever. I move forward..that is it for me. I have loved deeply several times in my life time and neither of those worked out..not even the one I am still married to at the moment…I can become their best friend but opening my heart and soul up to them again…has not happened yet…it takes some major hurt to get me to stop caring in the first place. You know the kind of hurt that destroys your heart and where you have to rebuild them one slow agonizing pain at a time. But that is just me. I love easily..until I love deeply…then it’s heart and soul. That is a rare find indeed and I don’t know that I have honestly ever found that one love…thought I marriage is a result of that…but I as I have continued the the hopeful heart…ever the realist…Thank you for humoring me Benji…luvd the question.. ❤


  17. Wow okay let me think here…. Okay done.. Fuck no they are ex’s for a reason and honestly because of what they have done to you, you have grown and learned to be a much stronger person.. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.. My reason. happiness.. so with that being said there is no Ex that I would ever take back.. X them fuckers out for good and smile baby cause your doin much better today for it!


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